Just pull the fucking trigger and end this.
Kill him. Because he deserves to die, and you know that.
Taking the power back, being the one to do it would feel so good.
But the problem is that I’m afraid. Not of him… I don’t believe I ever was. It wasn’t about that.
I’m petrified that killing himwon’tfeel good. That it’ll feelbad; awful, pointless, and demoralizing. And then I’ll hate myself even more.
“Ugh!” I bellow, whipping the rifle away from him.
Panting, heaving for breath, I rub my eyes with my fingers. “Fuck you. Just…fuckyou.”
The fact that I’m unable to just fuckingdo itis making me feel stupid, pathetic, and so goddamnweak. But I can’t help it.
I just can’t fucking do it. My body won’t respond.
“Youdeservethis!” I seethe, shaking my head. “And you know you do…”
He swallows, nodding.
“Blood for blood,” I growl.
And with those words, something sticks out in my brain.
Stuffing my hand into my pocket, I pull out the knife… The one I took from Angel.
Little bird…
Staring at it, a shower ofcalmcascades over me. I can feel weight lifting off my shoulders… The responsibility I’ve been carrying for all of this shit since Tammy died, setting off this chain of destruction.
“It’s not meant for me,” I whisper. My eyes meet obsidian irises. “You didn’t have my mother killed…?”
He shakes his head, and as much as I despise it… I can tell he isn’t lying.
Still, it changes nothing about where we are, as a result of whoheis.
A giant, foreboding monstrosity of despair that needs to be fucking demolished before it can hurt anyone else.
“Well, youdidkill his parents,” I rumble, nodding in Angel’s direction. “So vengeance… is his.”
Handing the knife to Angel, I hum, “I believe this belongs to you.”
His eyes stay hold mine briefly before falling to the weapon. He takes it slowly, looking it over. Running his thumb over the ivory handle, the initials AA, and the carving of the bird surrounded by barbed wire.
I don’t know what that symbolizes, but something tells me it’s significant… to both of them.
“May his death satisfy you,” I breathe to Angel Alvarez, stepping aside.
Giving my wrath, my revenge, my chaos and contempt… Justgivingit over.
A breath of relief leaves me, with hundreds of pounds andsomany years of suffering. Not just mine, but all of ours. Theburden I’ve borne, the chains I’ve worn for every lost soul on this island… It’s all gone.
Reduced to rubble,we are free.
It’s over.
I fuckingwon.
