Ugh, Dios…
“As expected,” he grunts. “It’s a funeral, so, ya know…”
I swallow hard, blinking past how dizzy I suddenly am.
I’m drunk… That’s it.
I’m not high on the fact that he’s actually speaking to me and shivering down to my goddamn marrow…
Sucking in a breath, I mumble, “But you’re… holding up alright?”
“Do you really care?” He scoffs with a bite.
I’m beginning to feel sick.
“Jonathan, please.” I rub my eyes. “I don’t expect you to believe me, but I would like it if you would at least hear meout—”
“Oh, you mean like you do whenIfuck up?” He snaps.
Okay, I deserved that.
“That’s not the same, and you know it,” I grunt.
“Doesn’t matter,” he sniffs. “My mother is dead, and it’s my fault… Just like everything else that’s happened since I met you.”
His words actually sting, like salt on a wound within my chest, and I hate it because I don’tunderstand…
“Why would you say that? You know it was never my intention for you to feel that way.” I shake my head. I’m not explaining myself correctly.I don’t know how to do this…“After everything we’ve been through, it pains me that you don’t know how important you are to me… That you think I would—”
“You say that now, but you just want me to come back,” he interrupts. “You’ll say anything to make that happen…”
“That’s not true.” I chew on my lower lip.
“Yes, it is. You think I’m stupid? Or do you just like treating me like I am…?”
“You want someone to blame? Fine. I’ll take that. But you know this is where you belong, Jonathan. Your home is here…”
With me.
“I don’t care…” He murmurs, but I keep pushing.
Going for broke, because Ihaveto.
“I need you back, my pet…”
“No—”
“Por favor, Ineedyou—”
“No.Stopdoing that!” He barks with soft misery making up his grungy voice. “I just… can’t.”
“Listen to me, you arenotgiving up everything we’ve built for over a decade because of a misunderstanding,” I croak, tone hostile, with an undercurrent of flailing panic I just can’t hide anymore. “I promise I’ll explain everything if you justlisten… I would never have stopped you from going to say goodbye. But I’m just worried that you’re not thinking clearly right now. You’re emotional, which is understandable. Just don’t… let this ruin us.Please.”
He’s gone quiet, and I’m wringing out my hands. Both hopeful that I’ve gotten through to him, and petrified of how goddamn vulnerable I am right now.
“I have to go,” he breathes, as if he barely heard me. Shut down. “Leave me to my business. I’ll see you soon.”
He hangs up before I can even take slight relief in the fact that he said he’ll see me soon.
