“I’ve actually…never done this before.”
Jay tilted his head in confusion. “You’ve never talked about your kinks?” Why would Aaron be so nervous about that? It wasn’t that uncommon to have one-off scenes that included the bare minimum of discussion prior to starting.
Aaron let out a nervous laugh. “No, I meanthis.” He gestured between them. “The Dom/sub thing. I never had a chance to explore before I met Mark.”
Jay stared at him in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m not completely clueless,” Aaron said defensively. “I’ve done a lot of research.”
Jay blew out a breath. “I believe it. You’re telling me that was your first time having a negotiation?”
Aaron eyed him with a slight frown. “Yes?”
“That’s fucking impressive,” Jay said with admiration. He wouldn’t call himself an expert, but he’d been through a few of these conversations, and they’d never gone this smoothly. The fact that it was Aaron’s first made it downright shocking.
A small smile curled at the corner of Aaron’s lips. “You don’t mind?”
Jay leaned forward and put his hands on Aaron’s knees, looking deep into his eyes to make sure his point got across. “I don’t mind one bit. If you hadn’t told me, I never would have guessed. You can hold your own, you obviously know what you’re doing, and you were incredible on Friday. I only ask that you let me know if something bothers you or if things are going too fast, but I have a feeling you would do that anyway.”
Aaron smiled. “You know me too well. So, we’re good?”
“We’re great.”
“Excellent!” Aaron clapped his hands. “Now we can plan our next date. You can go home and look through the list, pick out your favorite things, and we’re all set.”
“Eager, are you?” Jay said with a laugh.
“Mark and his girlfriend are coming next Friday, and I would really like to see you before then.”
He’d almost forgotten the entire reason for their shopping trip. Aaron’s ex-husband was coming for a visit.
Jay wasn’t jealous. He had no reason to be. Aaron had described their relationship as a close friendship, and Jay believed him. Still, it was unsettling. Sixteen years was a long time. How could anyone possibly compare to the man Aaron had spent his entire adult life with?
All Jay could do was his best and hope it was enough.
“How about Thursday night? You can come over to my house.”
Aaron’s smile turned sultry as he licked his lips and moved closer. “You’ll have to tell me what to wear.”
Jay gave Aaron a suggestive leer before closing the rest of the distance between them, his lips hovering above the curve of Aaron’s neck. He let his breath fan over the skin, delighting in the soft hitch in Aaron’s breath before whispering into his ear.
“It really doesn’t matter. You won’t have it on long enough for me to notice.”
Chapter 21
AARON
Aaron alternated between staring out the window and fidgeting with his phone the entire ride to Jay’s house. Their first time had happened organically, in the heat of the moment, driven by passion rather than careful negotiation. Would introducing rules and boundaries change the dynamic? Would Jay treat him differently now that he knew about Aaron’s inexperience?
He hadn’t seemed upset at Aaron’s revelation. Maybe he’d already suspected, or maybe he had an amazing poker face, but either way, the weight of Aaron’s secret had been lifted.
All week, errant thoughts of Jay resulted in jolts of excitement followed by immediate clouds of apprehension. Aaron avoided them by throwing himself into work and last-minute arrangements at the apartment. He went so far as to go out shopping for window curtains that matched the couch, as well as a set of ridiculous sheets with dinosaurs for the guest bedroom. If Mark didn’t appreciate them, Rachel would.
There was nothing he could do to distract himself now. He was minutes away from walking into either the hottest night of his life or the most awkward. It didn’t help that he was starting to feel a tenderness toward Jay, a gooey feeling that had little to do with lust and everything to do with Jay’s affable personality and soothing presence.
But that wasn’t what tonight was about. This was an arrangement. It wasn’t romantic.
Just an arrangement.
