“Okay then, just a few more things. These aren’t hard limits at all, more like…boundaries. I don’t want to kiss someone I’m not in a romantic relationship with. It’s silly, but I like the idea of reserving something special for a life partner.” There was a trace of something Jay couldn’t identify in Aaron’s voice, but it was gone by the next sentence. “On a similar note, I don’t want to have anal sex right away. Definitely not against it, but I’d like to work my way up to it, build some trust.” Aaron hummed in thought. “I think that’s it.”
“I totally get it. Thank you for sharing all of that with me. I love how open you are about this stuff,” Jay said, a little awed. Aaron’s easygoing attitude was making this the smoothest kink negotiation Jay had ever experienced.
“No point in beating around the bush.” Aaron shrugged. “I’m giving you full control of my body. It’s in my best interest that you know exactly what I want and don’t want.”
Jay skimmed through the pages in his hands. “Do you have a safe word or just the color system?”
“Colors work for me.” Aaron shifted and opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
“What is it?” Jay asked.
“It’s not very traditional. I don’t want it to be a turnoff.”
“Tell me.”
Aaron sighed and ducked his head. “I know a lot of Doms prefer that subs don’t speak or break immersion. I was just wondering if you were at all open to…talking during the scenes? Like, if I need an adjustment or something hurts in a bad way, can I just tell you instead of using yellow?”
“I don’t see why not. Neither of us is into protocol. So you can tell me your knee hurts and I will gently rearrange you before I get back to flogging your ass.”
He’d glimpsed Aaron’s fondness for flogging on the list, using the newfound knowledge to be playful. It had the desired effect—Aaron’s skin flushed, and a shy smile played on his lips. He cleared his throat. “Your turn.”
Jay straightened up and took a deep breath. None of his limits were out of the ordinary, but he was suddenly nervous to share them. He didn’t have Aaron’s natural confidence when it came to this stuff.
“The main thing is safety. I won’t do anything I can’t do safely, which may change with time, but for now includes anything with fire, even hot wax, nothing sharp, no breath play. I’ll put my hand on your throat, but I won’t choke you. Is that okay?”
He paused to wait for a reaction. Aaron looked confused at first, then smiled and brought his hand to his chest in mock concern. “Oh no, my Dom is trying to make sure I’m safe. How terrible.”
Jay gave him a playful shove, and Aaron laughed. “Please, continue.”
“I’m not into extreme verbal degradation. I can call you a slut and tell you how desperate you are for my dick, but that’s about the extent of it.”
Aaron hummed in agreement. “That’s enough for me. Anything meaner than that, and I’ll think you don’t like me.”
“We can’t have that,” Jay said in a tender voice and leaned closer to run his thumb down Aaron’s cheek. Such an intimategesture would have been unthinkable a few days ago, but after everything they did at the club, it seemed almost mild. “Your safety—physical and emotional—is my main priority.”
Aaron’s expression softened, and he leaned into Jay’s touch. “I really appreciate that. But what about you? What are your boundaries?”
Jay reveled in the softness of Aaron’s skin under his palm, wondering whether the next thing he admitted would be a dealbreaker. He’d gone back and forth trying to decide whether to bring it up, but now, with Aaron’s soulful eyes piercing his heart, he knew he had to. Reluctantly releasing Aaron’s cheek, he said, “I’d like to be exclusive while we’re playing together.” The words were harder to get out than expected. “If either of us meets someone else, that would be the end of our arrangement.”
Aaron’s head tilted slightly, lips pressed together as he mulled it over. “Huh. I should have thought of that. I totally agree. If you hook up with someone else, it’s cool, no hard feelings, but we’re done.”
That wasn’t the most likely scenario, but there was no reason to point out that Aaron was far more likely to find someone else, so Jay stayed quiet.
Silence stretched as Aaron tapped a finger on his lower lip, as if trying to decide something. Was he still considering the exclusivity clause, or was it something else?
All of a sudden, Aaron’s shoulders tensed, and he pulled a throw pillow onto his lap while inching back, putting distance between them. “There’s…something else I need to tell you.”
The cadence was all wrong. Gone was the chatty, energetic man who had confidently laid out his wants and needs, replaced with someone hesitant, vulnerable. He looked fragile. Even on his first night at the club, when he’d obviously felt out of place, there hadn’t been any fear in his eyes.
There was fear now.
It struck Jay like a sharp blow. Fierce protectiveness surged through him, a desperate need to fix whatever was wrong, to chase Aaron’s shadows away. On instinct, he moved, closing the space between them, and Aaron’s eyes widened in surprise. Jay froze, heart pounding, afraid his sudden movement startled Aaron.
But Aaron didn’t pull away. He held Jay’s gaze, determination slowly creeping back into his expression. In a few moments, the last traces of vulnerability were gone, and Aaron nodded to himself, as if answering a silent question.
“I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but I don’t think I can keep this from you. It feels like lying.” He ran his fingers up and down the seam of the pillow.
“You can tell me anything,” Jay promised. He meant it. There was nothing Aaron could tell him that would keep him away.
