“Have you always felt like this?” I find myself asking.
“Like what?”
“Have you always cared so deeply about other people’s feelings?”
“Oh, always.” Rowan huffs a laugh. “I was constantly being sent to the nurse at school. If I sensed even the smallest bit of unhappiness from someone else, I’d start bawling my eyes out. I mean, hysterically crying. Teachers hated having me in class.”
“That sounds… tricky.”
“That’s very polite. It was impossible. I don’t know how anyone put up with me. Luckily, I got better as I got older. Learnt how to manage it. Well, mostly.”
“Reckon it makes you a great friend.”
Rowan grins. “To Marnie, yeah. She’s my best mate. She’s this bubbly, warm, cynical, introverted beam of sunshine. I love her.To anyone else? Well, I don’t know about that. I don’t have that many friends, if I’m honest. Never been great at making them.” The grin slides from her face. “What about you? You don’t strike me as Mr Social. No offense.”
“Whatever gave you that impression?”
“Aside from your repeated insistence that you prefer solitude, permanent scowl and general grumpy demeanour?”
“Idoprefer solitude.” I force myself to lift my brows. “And I don’t have a permanent scowl.”
“No, I’m sorry. You’re right.” Rowan peers at me. “It’s a permanent frown.”
“To answer your question,” I continue pointedly, “no. I’m not Mr Social. With Da and the farm, I never really had time. But there’s Stuart. He’s my best friend. Has been since the day I met him.” I sigh. “I don’t know if I’m the best of friends to him though.”
“Why not?”
“He’s always asking me to open up. And I try. I do. But… It doesn’t come easy to me. Never has.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
“You seem pretty open to me.”
A million responses cross my mind, and I reject every single one.
We crest a hill, ambling beneath the trees. The sun is high, and every bush and tree gleams from the rain overnight. Priya splashes through a puddle, kicking crystal droplets into the air.
“Rowan!” she calls. “Come and look at this!”
Rowan shoots me a rueful smile. “Sounds like I’m being summoned.”
I gesture at the path in front of us. “You go right ahead.”
“You coming?”
“I’ll follow along in a bit.”
“I get it.” Rowan taps her nose with a finger. “Angus needs his introvert time.”
“Something like that.”
She hustles forward, her bag swinging from side to side. It should be comical – and it is – but it’s also endearing. The loping step. The speed with which she catches up to Priya. The way the little girl takes her hand.
Stop it, I tell myself. But I can’t.
I keep my distance as the road winds out of the trees and begins a gradual ascent across open moorland. I stop and take a deep breath. This is one of my favourite parts of the trail: we’ve left civilisation behind and everywhere I look are clear skies and rolling peaks.
