“For Christ’s sake, Alina!” He yanked me away from the door and shoved me onto the bed with such force that I hit the headboard with a bang.
“Get away from me!” I screamed at him, scrambling up until my back was pressed against the headboard. I gripped the throbbing in the back of my head in an attempt to ease the pounding. Choking back tears, I tried not to show that it hurt or that he’d startled me.
“Are you done?” he asked tiredly.
“Are you?”
“Depends. Are you still angry?”
“Obviously.”
“Then no, I am not finished yet.” He crawled toward me on the bed.
My foot extended to kick him, but he caught my ankle, forcing it back down. His body towered over me as I lay beneath him.
Usually, he would try to snake his way out of conflict by touching or kissing, or sucking his way into getting me to calm down. Not this time. This time, he lay down and pulled me into the warmest embrace that had ever taken hold of my body.
My breath hitched as his arms wrapped around me, one hand on my back and the other holding my face into the crook of his neck. Tremors took over my body as I tried to convince myself not to cry.
Don’t unravel—don’t do it in front of him.
The silence made me angrier, but I could not help but melt. He was intoxicating, my worst addiction. My head buried farther into his neck, his strong arms around me. A hand caressed my head, smoothing my hair back. His chin rested on top of myhead. This must be what it felt like for a fly in the grasp of a Venus flytrap, slowly dissolving until nothing was left to give.
“I can’t stand when you cry,” he said quietly. “The smell burns the inside of my nose.”
The comment made my lips pinch into a brief smile, but I could not hold it in any longer. The tears just came as quickly as my feelings were changing.
He pulled away to peer down at me, using his thumb to wipe away the wetness from my face.
“I love your eyes, even when they’re red from tears.” He placed his hand on the side of my face. “I have never seen someone look at something as wretched as me only to be left in awe,” he whispered as he rested his forehead against mine. “For that reason, your eyes will always be precious to me, in any form. I want nothing more than to climb inside your skull and see the world as you do.”
It took a long moment to process his words. They were overwhelming me in ways I didn’t know how to react to.
“Silas . . .”
“I have not known fear until I met you, Alina,” he interrupted me. “Do you know how horrifying it was to see you on those stairs and wonder what could have possibly scared you enough to cry out tome, of all things?”
The pain in his voice was desperate, begging for me to understand him.
“I realized that it wasn’t you who scared me the most,” he whispered finally against my lips, looking at me through his lashes. “What scared me is what would happen to me without you.”
Did he mean that?
I looked at the world with endless awe and romanticism, but I had never considered that someone could look at me the sameway—to be someone’s unknown, begging to be explored. That someone could take delight in piecing together my very being. I could feel the tears rising in my eyes again. This was all too much.
“I want to go home.” My voice cracked into a whimper despite my efforts to remain steady. “Please take me home, Silas.”
“Shh.” He pulled me in tighter, like I would slip away if he let go. “You just have to be here a little longer while I figure this out. All right? Then I’ll take you anywhere you ask of me,” he said softly, pulling the covers over us and holding me tight.
I was wrapped in a cocoon. His smokey scent became a comfort rather than a warning. Those notes of blackberries and bay weighed on my senses before calming them. His embrace was no longer predatory, even though every logical part of my brain said it should be. Thisshouldterrify me. It should make me want to kill him, but the urge was fading every time he held me in his arms. No one had ever killed for me, and it was becoming harder to stay angry at the gesture. No matter what my ethics said, I found it romantic. However, I did not appreciate him handling things for me. I would rather do my own dirty work.
I did not know if he slept at all that night. All I knew was that he never left my side.
That was all that mattered.
35
THE CREATURE
