“Maybe he is just a fan of your work.”
“I guess that could be. He did say he read my journals.” I sighed. “I’m sorry, Phoebe. I don’t mean to scare you. I must be coming down with some sort of paranoid fit.” I laughed nervously, walking with her down to the gazebo.
The flowers around the edge of the pond were wilted. I momentarily stopped to look at them before seeing inky liquid in the clear water.
My gaze trailed farther into the brush, seeing two pale eyes staring back at me. The kind of sound that escaped me must have resembled something unfamiliar, as I could not remember the type of shriek I made. My first instinct was to grab Phoebe bythe face and cover her eyes, backing her away from the water’s edge.
“Don’t look, don’t look.” My voice shook as she tried to remove my hand from her eyes.
There was a head in the pond.
Boris’s head.
The discovery madethe morning awkward as people woke up from their drunken slumbers. As news spread, suspicious looks were traded among attendees. The weight of what had happened hung in the air like the blanket of fog outside. Phoebe had disappeared into her chambers. I assumed that this had been hard on her. I wish I could have covered her eyes quicker after I spotted it, sparing her the image. What good was I if I could not even spare her from the horrors that followed me?
There was only one person who would be bold enough to do that, and I was cross with him at the moment. Especially finding out in this not-so-subtle way that he was still watching me. Was this a warning? Did he see what happened between Viktor and me? My only hope that he might not have seen was the fact that Viktor’s body was not in the pond as well.
Retreating to my room, I grounded myself with calming breaths and pacing. A heavy heat plagued me despite my dress being a thin silk tea gown with little extra weight to it. I pinned my hair up into a bun so it was not adding more to the calidity.
A sad-looking reflection in the mirror returned my gaze. The cold blue of her eyes was pale, and she looked like she had seen a thing too many in her short time on earth. I did not recognize myself anymore. So much had happened since I returned. Iwondered if staying out in the countryside would have been better. Maybe it was selfish of me to return to civilization. I was a hazard to everyone around me.
By later that evening, the tension had not eased. My depression slowly fermented into something new: rage. I’d already made it perfectly clear that he needed to leave me alone for my own mental well-being. It was like he was dead set on making sure I never knew peace.
Some of that rage was pointed at me. I felt terrible for giving in to Viktor’s advances and kissing him, but I wondered if things might have worked out between us had Silas not gotten his hands on me. A typical, boring, wholesome romance. Something that blossomed sweetly, a stable life. At the same time, I might become depressed if I ever settled down, especially now that I knew how exciting it was to be with Silas. As obsessive and scary as he was, he lit something deep inside me that was impossible to ignore. I might just be addicted to the adrenaline high.
My dinner went cold. As much as I wanted to eat, my appetite had dissipated. My frustration with the situation manifested as tears when I excused myself from the crowded table. I was the reason for too many innocent deaths. At this point, I wondered if it would ever be near the number of guilty souls I had taken.
I choked back my feelings until I got behind the safety of a closed bedroom door. I pushed it closed and rested my forehead against the wood. A frustrated sob welled up in my throat as I tried to collect myself, gently tapping my forehead against the door.
“You look absolutely radiant when you’re angry,” Silas whispered against my neck.
Something else took over inside me, like snapping a violin’s bow when the pressure became unbearable. I turned around anddelivered a crisp slap across his face. I must not know my strength, because he stumbled after the loud crack landed on his cheek.
“You are theworstat following directions! I have knownchildrenwith better impulse control than you!” I scolded.
“I can explain?—”
“What is there to explain? You cannot justkillanyone who insults me! If you killed every man who said similar things to Boris, I think half of the men I’ve met would be in the Thames by now!”
“I will not allow anyone to speak to you like that.” His eyes narrowed. “Did he not deserve it?”
“I am perfectly capable of handling him myself. If I wanted him dead, I woulddo it myself.” I rubbed my temples as if to avoid working myself into a migraine. “Do you forget who I am? You put me at risk when you try to handle things for me. Since when did you decide that I can’t handle myself?”
He drew closer to me. “You can handle yourself, you say? Are you so sure? Because if my memory serves me correctly, you seem to get yourself into entirely too much trouble.” He loomed over me, the air thick between us. “I couldn’t stand howpatheticyou looked when you cried on those steps, begging me to save you from the monster in your kitchen.”
My mouth gaped open, unable to find the words to throw back at him. There was only contempt.
He sighed and shook his head. “No, no, that’s not what I wanted to say.”
“I think you’ve said enough,” I breathed. “Leave.”
“No.”
“Silas, Iwillscream.”
“You won’t.”
I took in a deep breath, and he slapped his hand over mymouth, muffling the screech I summoned from every drop of anger I held within me.
