I make a mental note to get a checkup at the doctor when things calm down. Once my new health insurance kicks in.
Matt frowns. “You need to eat something. And drink more water.”
“I need to drink more coffee,” I joke.
Coffee. And eight hours of sleep. And I’ll be good as new.
I look at the clock. Sebastian’s suit arrived from the designer earlier today, so he’s likely changing now. I rush to the guest room to get ready.
Thirty minutes later, my hair is in a high ponytail, and press-on nails hide my ragged manicure. My eyes look larger with a smoky shadow. My mouth is shimmering with pale-pink gloss. And the dress I bought earlier today at a high-end department store, skipping my lunch hour, fits me surprisingly well. I use the word “bought” loosely because I plan on returning it. I feel guilty. But there’s no way I could afford events like this if I didn’t get a little creative. My go-to strategies for somewhat affordable options are usually rent-a-dress or vintage, which, for me, is a code for secondhand stores or church thrift shops in the mostaffluent neighborhoods. St. Peter’s runs one in Beverly Hills that’s awash in decades-old Chanel.
But today, I didn’t have time for that.
I twirl in the mirror, admiring the dress and the way the skirt swirls around my legs. It’s fitted and strapless at the top, with a classic full skirt at the bottom. But my favorite part is the color. It’s the perfect pale shade of ballet pink.
Tonight, I get to pretend, just for a few minutes, that I’m one of the special people, not one of the minions.
I don’t have the money for proper jewelry, so I spray a light sheen of body glitter on my bare skin. Then I tilt my head and put on a pair of diamond earrings Sebastian got me for Christmas last year. It was a surprise because usually I buy all his gifts. He said it was no big deal. He said he went shopping with Chase, who was buying something for Olivia, and since it was just before Christmas, he got them on impulse.
After that happened, I thought, maybe… But then he started dating Allegra. And I realized the gift was just as he said.
The random impulse of a very rich man. Generous, but an afterthought.
I brush a hand over the large, cool stones in my ears.
An afterthought. And after tonight, I’ll have to get used to not even being that.
CHAPTER 18
Sebastian
Matt:
Emma explained how she would often go to your room to wake you up in the morning in case you slept through your alarm. Would you like me to continue with the same process?
Me:
Hell no.
Matt:
That’s what I thought.
My breath leavesin a jagged rush.
Emma stands before me in the entry hall of the mansion, elegant and ethereal in a pale-pink gown, a color I’ve never seen her in. She usually wears cream, paired with dark neutrals like black or navy.
The soft color brings out the glow in her luminous skin. Her hair is pulled back in its usual simple style, but her makeup is bolder, emphasizing her heart-shaped face, large, crystalline eyes, and soft mouth.
Seeing her like this makes me aware of just how small Emma is. Or, as she would say, petite. She has a vast hatred of the word short. Usually, I forget her size because of her big presence and take-no-bull attitude. But the gown shows off the delicate curve of her neck and collarbone, feminine sweep of shoulders, and bare expanse of back that narrows to a tiny waist.
She shimmers.
“You look…” I hear the catch in my voice, and I clear my throat. “You look… nice,” I falter. Because what else can I say? I can’t tell her she looks breathtakingly beautiful. Not with her endless talk about crossing lines. And not if I have any last-minute chance of changing her mind about quitting. I have to be on my best behavior.
For the last seven years, she’s been to almost every event. Anticipating what I might need. Supplying a name when I’ve forgotten it. Steering me away from awkward questions.
These events are like a straight shot of adrenaline to my ADHD and keyed-up personality. The screaming fans, the lights, the questions from the press, the stress of how the audience and critics will react to my movie. In my rebellious past, I calmed myself with alcohol. Or pills. I’ve even been kicked out of my own premiere for getting too rowdy. But that was a long time ago.
