“So you screwed the nanny,”Sebastian says conversationally.
“Shh. How are you still alive?” Emma slaps Sebastian on the head. It’s her signature slap, and I’m glad she did it because he wouldn’t survive mine.
I can’t even manage a glare.
“I told you there’s something seriously wrong with him. He didn’t even growl at me,” Sebastian says.
“I don’t growl,” I growl.
“Grunt, then.”
“You do grunt,” Chase says. “And growl. He’s got you there.”
Sebastian, Emma, Chase, and Chase’s girlfriend, Olivia, came by uninvited this morning and are crowded into the living room of my small house. It’s on a bluff overlooking the Pacific, with a rugged expanse of private beach among the rocks. I bought it ages ago with one of my first paychecks. It’s a far enough drive outside of LA that I don’t have to worry about the paparazzi, which suits me.
The sudden move back to California has been confusing for Belle, and she’s asked about Poppy a million times, which makes sense because I’ve thought about Poppy a million times.
But we’ve been trying our best.
Last night, when I read her a bedtime story, Belle asked me if I was sad. I didn’t want to lie, so I said yes. And she said she was as well. But that she was happy she was still with me.
“Emma, can you set up an appointment with an interior decorator for me? Maybe tomorrow,” I say.
“It’s a few days before Christmas, Ronan. Really?”
“I want Belle to have a room she loves,” I explain. “She’s staying in my former office that I converted into a bedroom when she arrived, but I want something that feels more like hers.” I don’t say that I want her to feel like she did at the lake house in Snowflake Harbor. That would be impossible, but at least I can give her this—blue, sequins, and whatever else she wants. “I don’t know how long she’ll be here, so I want it done as soon as possible.”
“Consider it done,” Emma says.
I bite back panic at the thought of having to give Belle up. Claire and her lawyers have been playing hardball.
It’s all my fault. Claire is back in our lives because I didn’t manage Tiffany correctly. And because I let myself have Poppy, when I knew I should stay away from her. She was my daughter’s nanny, temporary or not. It didn’t matter that she was special or that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.
But I did whatever the fuck I wanted to do, to hell with the consequences. And now, we’re all paying the price, Poppy included. I called a few people in Snowflake Harbor to arrange a Christmas gift to try to make it up to her, even if I can’t fix this entirely.
“Hey, pass me that box of candy canes,” Sebastian says as he places a gold ball on the Christmas tree that I put them to work to decorate.
“You can’t put the ornaments on the tree before the lights are on.” Emma unravels a string of lights. “What are you? A heathen?”
“Why are you all here again?” I ask.
“We’re friends. We were in the neighborhood and thought we’d stop by,” Chase says.
I snort. “My house is in the middle of nowhere.”
“We wanted to make sure you and Belle were okay,” Sebastian says. “And see if you needed anything.”
“Sebastian’s right. Friends stick together.” Olivia adds a red ball to the tree and then looks at me. “Don’t you want to save the decorating for Belle?”
“I have some ornaments planned for the two of us, but I want to surprise her with this. We already decorated a tree in Snowflake Harbor.”
“It’s really sweet, Ronan. You’re a great dad,” Olivia says.
Chase wraps an arm around her and kisses the top of her head.
“God,” Sebastian says. “They’re still disgustingly loved up, even after all this time.”
“It’s cute,” Emma says.
