“It’ll be okay.” I’m not sure if she’s trying to convince herself or me. “It’s just a little early.”
I nod. That’s the truth I need to remember.
Poppy was never mine. We were going to pack up in a week anyway. We were just pretending here, pretending in this temporary house that somehow felt real.
And now the fantasy has blown apart. But it felt so damn good while it lasted.
I didn’t want to acknowledge just how precarious our time was. With Poppy.
And with Belle. I’ve just been fooling myself. I knew this would happen. That Belle would have to return to her life in England. It’s why I hired the lawyers. It’s why I tried to guard against loving her so completely. I’d hoped I could keep a distance, but Belle wormed her way into my heart with her little hand in mine, with every sweet moment and every fit of temper.
I’ll figure it out later. But first, I have to do what I always do. Carry on. I need to pack us up. Have flights arranged to LA. Meet Belle’s mom. And meet the lawyers.
The next right step is doing whatever is best for my daughter.
Regardless of what I want.
So I walk over to Belle, gently lift her in my arms to carry her upstairs to the bedroom she loves, the bedroom we decorated just for her, so that I can get her dressed for a plane ride and try to explain why we’re leaving like thieves in the night.
“I’ll start packing for her,” Poppy says somberly. We’re walking up the stairs when she stops me with a hand on my arm. “Hey, want to know a way to console a child who’ll be upset about her canceled Christmas plans?”
“What?”
Her mouth tilts up. “Belle really wants a dog. You could adopt one that needs a home.”
I bark out a laugh. I can’t help it. Her idea is so unexpected.
“And what happens if Belle…” I ignore the panic that threatens to bubble up. “Goes back to London? What do I do with a dog then?”
“That part’s easy. You love it. The dog isn’t just for Belle, you know. I think you could use a friend as well.”
“And what do I do with it when I’m working?”
“Movie stars can have pets too,” she says. “They have more in their life than just work.”
I’m overcome with a wave of feeling that almost knocks me to my knees. I can’t name it. But it’s sharp and bittersweet. Poppy’s still here in my corner, even when her name is plastered all over the tabloids, making her look like she’s been taken advantage of at best, a gold-digger at worst.
Yet she’s still thinking of Belle and me.
“I’m sorry. For everything. My manager is hiring a PR agency to take care of some of the press. I’ll do everything I can to set the record straight and get your name out of this. I have the house rented through the new year, so don’t feel like you need to be out of here right away. Emma will get in touch with you, and we’ll take care of everything, including your salary for the full time we were supposed to have.”
Her smile falters. “I don’t care about the money, Ronan.”
“I don’t mean that. I just want to make sure you’re taken care of.” Everything I say seems wrong. I try again, “You deserve all your dreams to come true. Take the studio. Stop saying yes to everyone but yourself. And don’t settle for a life you don’t want. Or for a man who doesn’t treat you like you’re the most precious person in the world.”
She smiles, but the tears still glisten in her eyes. “Okay.”
She looks down at Belle, who’s still asleep in my arms. She brushes a hair out of her face. “Let’s go upstairs and get her ready. We can do our best to set this up as a fun adventure for her.”
“It won’t be that without you, Poppy. You know that.”
It’s the most I’ll admit to. The closest I dare get to what’s in my heart. So I turn to take the stairs with the little girl in my arms. It’s my job to protect her. And not for the first time, I wish things were as simple as they are in my movies. Where there’s a good guy and a bad guy. Where with some muscles and, as Poppy claims, some duct tape, the good guy wins in the end. Wins the fight, saves the child, and gets the girl.
CHAPTER31
5 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS
Ronan
