“But it doesn’t have to matter,” I say. “Tiffany’s lying, and the situation will die down. We can have our Christmas like we planned, like Belle is looking forward to. And then we’ll go back to our normal lives. Only hire eighty-year-old nannies from now on. It will be okay.”
He hunches his shoulders, his muscles taut. “If it were just that, we could get through it. But I got a call from Claire, Belle’s mom.”
“Oh,” I say, tensing at what that could mean.
He looks out the window at the falling snow, where we were just playing and laughing, building snowmen. Not even twenty minutes ago, I’d been the happiest I’ve ever been, having fun with two of my favorite people and anticipating the thrill of another night with Ronan.
Now, it could all be wiped away as if we’d never had any of it.
“The article names her as Belle’s mom and who she’s dating. Her current billionaire boyfriend doesn’t like the publicity. She decided she wants Belle back early so that she doesn’t get caught in the tabloid crossfire. She says she made a mistake leaving Belle with me and she’s on her way to LA to meet us and take her back to England.”
“No.” I’m not sure what I’m protesting, other than everything. “She can’t.”
My heart is breaking. For Belle. For him. And, yes, for me.
He blinks and clears his throat, then swings his gaze in my direction. The pain in his eyes devastates me. “She can. She may have left Belle with me, but she has custody. I have to go. I have to try everything I can to change Claire’s mind. And not make the tabloids worse.”
He doesn’t say the rest of it. The tabloids will get worse if we’re together. Being seen with one of the nannies will fuel the fire of the scandal.
I always knew we weren’t forever. We lead completely different lives. He’s in LA and I’m here. I’m an art teacher. He’s a movie star. But I had hoped we’d have more time.
“What if I lose Belle?” he asks.
I launch myself into his arms, though he doesn’t even sway, as steady as the giant sequoia in the yard. “I’m sorry, Ronan. I’m so sorry.”
“Hey,” he says. “It’s not your fault.” He pushes my hair back and looks into my eyes. “It’s mine. I should have been more careful. I’ve been living this life for a long time, and I know how the tabloids work. I’m so damn sorry you got dragged into it. But Belle has to come first.”
“I know. I understand.” I want to say how disappointed she will be not to stay for Christmas. How devastated I am at the loss of our final week. I want to break down because I may never see Ronan or Belle again.
But I need to be strong for him, not make this any harder than it already is. He’s dealing with the risk of losing his daughter. All I can do is let them go with grace and pray that he can gain at least partial custody, so that Belle won’t be yanked from his life forever.
“Do you think Claire will be reasonable?”
“I don’t know. I hired the best team of lawyers I could in LA. I’ll be meeting with them as soon as I land. But this article isn’t good. If she wants to play hardball, she’s got ammunition now. She doesn’t even want Belle. She just doesn’t want to look like a bad mother. Or get bad press for that asshole she’s dating.”
I hug him as tight as I can, and he wraps his arms around me. I feel his lips on the top of my head. Then he tilts my chin up to meet his eyes.
“No matter what happens, I’ll never regret meeting you, Poppy O'Brien. I’ll never forget you. The way you hum when you paint. How you sigh when I kiss you. How I feel when you smile. The way you made me a better person.” His lips curve up, though his eyes are sad.
I swallow past the lump in my throat, tears falling. “And I’ll never regret meeting you, Ronan Masters. Even if you forgot the duct tape and can’t escape elevators. I’ll never forget how you taught me to stand up for myself. How you gave up your gym to make me an art room. How you made me feel beautiful. How you made me justfeel, more than anyone else or anything else in the world.”
He sweeps me in for a raw, rough kiss that might have been the beginning, but instead is the end.
* * *
Ronan
I can taste her tears.I don’t want to rip my mouth from hers because then it will be time to walk away from Poppy.
It will mean breaking Belle’s heart.
A voice inside me says it will mean breaking my heart as well. But that can’t be true.
It’s only been a few months. I don’t fall in love. This is just lust, like, and affection.
So we kiss until I find the strength to push away.
She smiles at me. It’s sad, but that damn dimple still shows.
