I am dressed and pacing when footsteps sound at the entrance. A young shifterfae female walks in carrying a tray. She has wide amber eyes and brown hair. She has the tiniest scrap of hide covering her sex and nothing else. Even her backside is bare. It is a good thing that it is fairly warm in this part of the realm, or the shifterfae would freeze to death.
“You must be Ryna.”
She smiles brightly. “Yes. I brought you food.” She sets the tray on a flat stone near the fire. There’s bread, some kind of dried meat, and two cups of something that steams. “You should eat.” She looks around the space and frowns. “I thought the king would be in attendance.”
“He had to leave.” I feel a pang. “Thank you.” My voice sounds small.
She lingers for a moment, studying me with those animal-bright eyes.
“Are you alright?” She sniffs the air. “You smell sad.”
“The last few days have been…a lot. But I am fine.”
“Then I shall take my leave. Enjoy your breakfast.”
“Thank you.” I watch her leave. She’s tall and very toned. They all seem to have this physique.
I sit next to the tray. The bread is fresh. There is a bowl of small, sweet-looking berries. The steam rising from the cup carries the scent of herbs and honey.
Even though it looks delicious, I find that I’m not hungry at all.
I pick at the bread. Then I eat a piece of the dried meat. It is salty and quite chewy. It doesn’t take long before my hunger hits, and a little while later, I look down, and almost half the food is gone.
I feel much better physically, but my mind is one big mess.
My mother is alive.
The thought keeps circling back, no matter how hard I try to push it away. All these summers filled with grief and guilt, wondering what we could have done differently. My father and I fled that day. We never looked back because we believed there was nothing to look back for.
She was supposed to be dead. The villagers dragged her away. For years, I was haunted by her screams. I had to listen to my father cry himself to sleep every night for a long time after. He would wake from nightmares, screaming her name. I know in my heart that if he didn’t have me to think about, he would have fought them and died trying to save her. It’s been tough, sometimes impossible.
But she didn’t die.
She’s been thriving at the Shadow Court all along.
She never tried to find us. Never sent word. Never reached out.
I want to scream. I want to throw the tray across the cave and watch it shatter. Instead, I sit very still, my hands flat against my thighs, and I breathe through my swirling emotions.
I know now that it was her. That it was my mother who sent the order to have me released from the dungeons. It was also she who sent me a message through the young guard, telling me to pack up and to leave the Shadow Court. Those were her words. Her warning.
I know that now.
She saved me. She was terrified for me on that battlefield. She left us and never looked back, and yet she still seems to care.
I’m so confused.
Sebastian told me she is good friends with Snow. The thought makes me want to retch. My mother is friends with a queen who has destroyed everything.
How can that be?
I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of it.
“Hello,” Terra says as she walks in. She stops a few paces away and tilts her head, regarding me.
“I owe you an apology.” Her voice is matter-of-fact. It holds no warmth, but no malice either.
I look up at her. “For what?” I frown.
