I can’t.
I refuse.
“I wish I could believe you, Isla, but I can’t.”
“I was about to tell you…right then, when Terra walked in. In hindsight, holding back that information was not the best idea. I thought it could wait until morning. I thought we had more time.” She shakes her head. “You have to believe that I didn’t know about my mother.”
“Belen told me that the Ruler General was a female from a strong house. Are you from a strong house, Isla?”
“You think I’m working for Snow?”
“Answer me!” I demand.
“Yes,” I nod. “My great-grandfather was high up in the shadowfae army. My mother told me stories about it. He was from the House of the Dark Daggers.”
I gasp out all the air inside my lungs. “Your great-grandfather was Ruler General Fenrik,” I push out.
“Yes.” She nods like it’s nothing. “That’s him.”
“He was one of our greatest Ruler Generals of all time. You didn’t think to tell me any of this?”
“I didn’t think it was important. I’ve lived for so many years hiding my past and who I really am. My father was just a lowly human. I lived like a human. The tales I was told about the shifterfae were just that…tales. At least, to me they were.”
“Tales that actually happened! You’re right about one thing: you’re damned good at hiding who you really are.”
Her eyes widen; she goes back to looking stricken. “My life depended on it, Sebastian.” Her voice wavers. “I’ve always seen myself as a half-breed from the once Grass Plains and not much more. The stories my mother told seemed to me like they were from another world.”
I hold her stare. “My world. Did you know that your mother is good friends with Snow?”
“No, how would I know that?” She sounds a touch angry. “The first time I saw my mother in all these summers was yesterday, and then only from afar. You think I’m working for Snow, don’t you?”
I lift my brows. “It’s not so far-fetched. Your mother reports directly to her. They are friends, Isla. Why wouldn’t I think that?”
Isla straightens. Something changes in her posture. The tears are still there, but so is something harder. Something defiant.
“Because you know me.”
“Not really.” I shake my head. “All we’ve done is run and hide. There was some fighting and fucking, but that was really it.”
Her eyes fill with hurt, but I grit my teeth against the guilt that rises up.
“Fine.” She clears her throat. “Let’s just say that I was reporting to my mother or to the queen herself. What was my assignment exactly? To kill you? Because I could’ve done that countless times. To get you captured? I could’ve orchestrated that too. I risked my life for you and more than once. I saved you and more than once.” She shakes her head, her voice gaining strength. “Why would I do that if I were working for her? Your theory holds no water.”
“You did all of it to get me to trust you so that I would take you to them…to the Lost Kings. Snow wants us all…not just me. That is the master plan, isn’t it?”
It’s a thought I’ve had before, but this time, the rightness of it hits me with the force of a dozen sharp arrows to the chest. It hurts more than I thought possible. More than a sword through the gut or Snow’s magic tearing the life from my body. Because this is a wound I allowed. I knew it, and I ignored it.
I let her in, and now she’s under my skin.
“Your ultimate goal has been to lead her to them. That way, she would have all of us. At least those of us who have awakened.”
The shock in her eyes is devastating. Her whole face changes. Her mouth opens and closes, and something in the way she looks at me almost has me crossing the cave and pulling her into my arms.
I hold my ground.
“I would never.” She shakes her head. Tears spill freely now. “I can’t believe that you would think that of me.”
“Everything you’ve done has been to disarm me. To think I nearly fully trusted you. I would have taken you with me…to them. I…” I stop, because what comes next is something I’m not willing to give her. She doesn’t need to know that I am developing feelings for her. That somewhere between the fights and the fleeing and the quiet hours together, something took root in me that I didn’t plan for and don’t want. Those feelings are a lie. Built on a foundation of deceit. I am falling for a person who doesn’t exist.
