I gagged, turning from the door before I could be sick.I had seen Raleigh drink blood countless times, but it was different when he drank from a cup.I could almost convince myself it was wine.
Was this what Raleigh’s mercy had looked like when he bled my mother dry?
The sight was a sharp reminder of what he was, what they all were.Monsters.Demons.No matter how well Raleigh spoke, how well he dressed, or how kindly he treated me, there was no changing what he was.
And we were travelling to a castle full of creatures just like him.
Cold hands settled on my shoulders and Lukas’s hair brushed against my left ear.He pulled me back into the doorway, forcing me to take in every drop of gore.‘Is this the prince you love?’
I knew why he needed me to see this.If I was to love Raleigh, I needed to know what I was loving.How better to shatter our engagement than by showing me his true face?But I’d always known that Raleigh had this side to him.For most of my life, it was the only side of him Ididknow.
‘What are you hoping to achieve?’I kept my tone steady, hoping I sounded bored.I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the woman’s waxen fingers.They were so stiff, almost yellow.It felt impossible that they could ever have belonged to a living human.Mother’s hands had looked like that when we found her.So had my aunt’s.They were the hands of someone who had been dead for hours.
Raleigh dislodged himself at the sound of my voice.His eyes shone in the dark, horror cutting through the glaze.In his panicked attempt to push the young woman away, her head rolled back, revealing a vacant stare and a throat ravaged by more than one set of teeth.
My nausea coiled again.Raleigh did not murder this woman, but she had been passed around in death.He didn’t have a choice, I reminded myself.He had to feed, and Yorik and Lukas never would have been satisfied without a kill.It could have been my waxy fingers trailing on the floor.Better for it to be someone else whose family we would never have to see mourn.
‘No wonder Raleigh never went back to court, seeing as you force him to eat scraps off the ground like a dog.’My voice was unfamiliar to me.I lifted my chin, hoping Lukas couldn’t hear the waver and praying Raleigh could.‘He is a prince.Serve him dinner if you must, but do so befitting a man of his station.Give him a cup, for God’s sake.’I sniffed, then regretted it as the coppery scent of death filled my nose.Masking my face in ice, I turned to Lukas.‘Are we done here?’
For the first time, Lukas looked unsure.‘You’re not bothered?’
‘I’m bothered that you woke me up for this.’I swallowed down another wave of nausea.‘Raleigh, get off the floor.I’m the only woman who should be in your arms.’
Raleigh scrambled to his feet, then quickly mirrored my facade.We were the Prince and Princess of Rostenburg, and this was nothing.
‘I’ll escort you to bed,’ he said simply.He stepped over the body on the floor, leaving it as a child abandons a doll they’ve finished playing with.‘I trust you’ll clean this up, Lukas?’He brushed past me into the hallway without looking back, and I so desperately wanted to believe that was deliberate.I told myself ‘cleaning up’ meant giving the poor girl a proper burial, but I knew better than to linger on the thought as I followed his lead.
Neither of us spoke until we were back in my room, but the moment the lock clicked, Raleigh’s true emotions rushed forth.His calm was stripped away in an instant, convulsions racking his body.It took all of my strength not to do the same.
‘I didn’t kill her.’He spoke like a waterfall, the words falling almost too quickly for me to comprehend.‘I couldn’t find anyone dying in the village.I thought I could hold out another night, but when I came back Lukas had—’
‘I know.’I stopped him before he could say anything to make this night any worse.‘She’d been dead for at least an hour.Anyone could see that.’
‘Then why won’t you look at me?’
I tensed, then forced myself to slowly raise my eyes to his, unprepared for the grief reflected back.He was no stranger to death.If I started to calculate how many lives had fallen at his hand, I knew I would break.So did he grieve all his victims like this?Or was he upset that me seeing him for what he really was would jeopardise his bargain with the Queen?
‘There’s blood on your face.’I found him a clean handkerchief and averted my gaze as he scrubbed the remainder of his meal from his chin.
‘You’re still upset.’
‘Of course I am.’
Raleigh flinched.He looked like a beaten dog, cowering from a master who had thrown his loyalty back in a fist.
‘Not with you,’ I added, which wasn’t true.I was furious with him for acting the victim in this, but I was equally furious with myself because in a way hewas.‘I’m not used to your world.I can’t watch you drain a woman’s life and just be okay with it.’
‘I didn’t—’
‘I know,’I said too loudly.The threads of my composure were rapidly fraying.‘But what I saw tonight was … Raleigh, I can’t see you do that again.’The words lodged in my throat.
Raleigh started to defend himself.
‘Let me finish.’I covered my eyes, trying to make sense of my emotions.‘I know you need to do that to survive.I can make peace with that.I already forgave you for killing my mother, and if I can do that I can forgive you for anything.There’s nothing you can do that will stop me from—’
I pulled hard on the reins when I realised I was hurtling towards something I could never take back.Raleigh had faded into a teary blur.
I took a breath.Then another.‘I can’t let you live like that without knowing I did everything in my power to break your curse.’
