Raleigh braced himself.‘Sit down,’ he said.And when I did, he began to speak.
Twenty-One
‘IMETCONSTANTINA ON THEnight of my investiture.’
‘The Queen?’I asked.
Raleigh nodded.‘It all happened so quickly.Did you know I had a brother?’
I nodded.‘A priest in Triz told me.’
‘Leon?’Raleigh huffed.‘Of course he did.Well, Leopold was raised as the heir of Rostenburg, while I was – how did Father put it?–a hapless louse.’He said this last part in Latin.‘I had no interest in learning to rule over what could never be mine.All I ever wanted was to live comfortably’—he paused—‘and to fall in love.
‘I spent my life searching for a love match.I had lovers, of course, men and women both.’Raleigh studied me for some reaction, but I was far from surprised.If I hadn’t spent my adolescence faithful to Yann, I would have done the same.‘But no one ever stayed long.They grew tired of me, or thought me too needy, or simply wanted to use me for status.In the army the men had wives waiting at home, and if I ever dared to hint at affection for a soldier in my bed, he’d never come near me again.No one ever stayed, once they came to know me.
‘When Leopold fell off his horse, I inherited his betrothed and I gave up on ever finding a love match.Then Father died from a mysterious sickness.’The bitterness with which he said those two words left no question of what he thought that sickness to be.‘And Constantina swept in.
‘She told me she was the daughter of Father’s long-forgotten friend, come to pay her respects on my investiture.I didn’t have any reason not to believe her, but I’m sure you can guess what happened next.’
‘She changed you?’I asked.
‘Not yet.’Raleigh laughed humourlessly.‘I fell in love with her first.’
I willed myself not to react.
‘I don’t know if she entranced me then or if that came later.But before the night was over I was convinced it was true love.I broke off my engagement and dismissed any advisor who tried to make me see rationality.By the end of the week I’d asked her to marry me.
‘She laughed, of course.I thought I’d offered her the world, but I know now she’d planned the whole thing.She told me she couldn’t marry me, but if I agreed to join the court she was building she’d give me all the love in the world.’A sigh.‘She never told me what she was.I had no idea what I was agreeing to.’
I knew what must have happened next.Vampires were made through a blood exchange; this most sources could agree on.The sire would drink from the human, then offer a small sample of their blood in return.The venom from the bite mixed with the make-up of their blood would react and allow the curse to take hold over the human.The exact speed of this process varied depending on how hale and hearty the human was at the moment of transfusion.One on the brink of death could transform in minutes.At the peak of health it could take days.
‘The moment I awoke I knew I’d made a mistake,’ Raleigh continued.‘I begged her to change me back, but I don’t know what she said.That’s when I know for sure she took my mind – because after that conversation, I knew nothing but bliss.
‘She taught me everything I can do.She was the one who showed me how to enchant the castle with a lasting entrancement, so the glamour would remain without my control.She showed me how to hunt, then convinced me to dam the river crossing to Orlfen so I could easily access my … livestock.’He winced at the word.‘And the worst part was I enjoyed it.I felt like every mouthful of blood brought me closer to her.
‘For a few years I was the terrible Prince of Rostenburg, and then I was at court, little better than a favourite pet; a mindless prince who obeyed her every command.And I was so happy.’His expression was pained.‘She convinced me I was happy.’
I felt sick.I’d drawn away from him as he spoke, and now we were perched on opposite ends of the settee, miles away from each other.His words called to memory that fateful autumn day when he’d returned all those years ago.He’d asked about the dam then, and none of us had understood.Our ancestors must have destroyed it once he left for court.I wondered how many of them starved in the interim years, how many had been drained by him and his queen.Orlfen suffered enough when Raleigh was trying to rule properly; I couldn’t imagine how much worse it had been back then.
‘She lost interest in me eventually, of course.Her court grew and I became an occasional dalliance on her roster of lovers.But the rest of her inner circle are infected with the same immortal callousness that drives her, and I was the only one of them she kept entranced.So when she tired of my affection …’ He stopped, his fingers clenching so hard they tore through the settee fabric.‘She …’ He tried toclench his hand again but, finding nothing but stuffing, he folded his fingers together, knuckles white with exertion.His foot started to bounce.‘She invited the rest of them to take her place.And when I begged her to make them stop, she reminded me that it was what I’d agreed to when she sired me.
‘She’d promised me love.She never promised hers.’
The world around us fell away.No wonder he wanted nothing to do with the court.No wonder he put on such a vicious front.I had spent so much time struggling to imagine what living for three hundred years would look like, I had never stopped to think about the unbearable length of a single terrible day.
‘Her hypnosis began to wear off after that.Everyone builds an immunity eventually.And once her hold on me started to flake, my perception of her shattered.I found new horror in death and drank as infrequently as I could bear.I tried to rebuff the advances of every man and woman who demanded to share my bed.Then, for the first time in years, Constantina summoned me to her chambers, and I refused.
‘I expected her to kill me for it.Honestly, I hoped she would.Instead I found myself once again at the centre of her attention.The love she’d once lavished upon me was back in full force.And when I again refused her next invitation to her chambers, she told me I was a fool for not seeing what was right in front of me.’He hugged his knees to his chest.‘Naturally, I could never really refuse her.I told you before she keeps a vial of each of our blood.As long as it remains in her possession, we have to obey her command.The glamour only made it bearable.’He took a breath.‘She blinded me as punishment.Eyes take a long time to regenerate, even for our kind.And the things she did to me in the dark …’
He fell silent.I thought he would continue, but that seemed to be the end.I realised my cheeks were wet.
‘I never wanted you to know.’
I didn’t know what to say.There was nothing I could say to make up for the centuries he’d endured.I shifted closer to him.I wanted to fold him into my arms and tell him it would be okay, but we both knew that would be a lie, and I was terrified of making things worse.
I would kill her.Not because of my deal with Raleigh.Not to free the continent from the bloodshed of her kind.It didn’t matter if he didn’t return my affection; Orlfen never cared for me either.I’d kill her for everything she did to him.
‘There’s something else I should tell you,’ he said.He reached out, then intertwined his fingers with mine, locking me in place.My heart surged so fiercely I could barely breathe.‘I didn’t escape court.She let me go.’
