‘Clara,’ he breathed, then pulled me back into a hug.‘You’re home now.That’s what matters.’Once he’d released me, and I found myself perched on the lumpy sofa reserved for guests, he asked the question I’d been dreading.‘Did you see Yann on your way here?’
I made a non-committal noise.
‘You didn’t fightwith him, surely?’
‘My gift to you,’ I muttered.
‘You know I would much rather you marry him than the prince.’
‘Perhaps you shouldn’t have given your blessing to Raleigh, then,’ I said bitterly.
‘You know I had no choice.’
‘Do I?’I was still no clearer on what Father had tried to hide from me on the night of my betrothal.Raleigh had never raised the subject, and when I tried broaching it with Moira she told me quite clearly she had no intention of involving herself.Dwelling on it would only drive me to madness, so I’d tried to keep the question buried in the back of my mind, but it was harder with Father in front of me.
He changed the subject before I could ask the question.‘Was Yann at fault, or are you having another one of your …’—he waved a hand—‘headstrong moments?’
I didn’t meet his eye.‘I don’t know,’ I said, though I’d replayed the conversation enough times to know I couldn’t really fault Yann for being upset.Yes, he’d barely tried to defend me, but hadn’t I stood by when Raleigh broke his hand?My betrothed,I thought with a curl of regret.
Father sighed and rose to his feet.‘Wait here.’
‘Where are you going?’
‘To get him, so that you can apologise and we can spend one evening pretending to be a normal family.’
‘Why are you so sure I’m in the wrong?’Regardless of whether or not he was right, Father hadn’t witnessed my conversation with Yann, and the fact that he immediately assumed I must have said something made me feel like I was shrinking.
‘It doesn’t matter who is in the wrong.Your job is to stand by him.Whatever he did, I’m sure you can forgive it.’He offered a smile I couldn’t return.‘I won’t be long.’
Nine
IWAS LEFT ALONE, FEELINGlike I had slipped back into childhood.Father hadn’t said anything he hadn’t implied a million times before, only it felt different now, somehow.For the last two months I’d lived more or less on my own terms.Yes, Raleigh had isolated me from the world, and I was trapped doing research I would rather not be doing.But I woke when I wanted to, ate and slept when I needed to, and when I snapped at Raleigh he …
… bought me a dictionary.
I slumped on the sofa, wishing I’d planned this day better.This was far from the joyous reunion I’d imagined.At least I knew now that everyone was alive.That had to make all this worthwhile, didn’t it?
There came a rap at the front door.I wasn’t sure whether Johanna was in, and I was halfway to opening it before I remembered I no longer lived here.No, Father wouldn’t mind.This was still my home, no matter what Raleigh said.
I opened the door, then had to look down to see our guest.He was a scruffy-looking thing, either too young or too malnourishedto have hit his growth spurt yet.I racked my brain for his name, but if I ever knew it I certainly didn’t anymore.
‘Oh.’The boy went pale.‘I didn’t expect you, Miss Clara.P-princess.Ah, no.YourSerene—’
‘Just Clara,’ I said.
He was shaking.‘I have mail.’He thrust out a fistful of parchment without looking at me.‘For your father.’
‘I’ll make sure he gets it,’ I said, taking the bundle.It seemed like more than Father usually received.The boy lingered, clearly waiting for something.‘He’ll pay you double next time,’ I added.
He beamed, fears forgotten.‘Thank you, Princess Clara!’
I didn’t have the heart to correct him.
I tossed the letters onto the side table without looking at them and began to pace the entryway while I waited for Father and Yann.They returned after only a few more minutes, neither looking thrilled to be in each other’s company.Yann regarded me warily as he entered.I could tell he expected me to continue the fight.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said before he could say anything.‘I shouldn’t have left like that.’
‘It’s fine,’ he grunted.It didn’t feel fine.
