Moira sighed.‘His pride could kill us all.Your stubbornness might be the only thing strong enough to fight it.’
I didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended.Instead, I squeezed Moira’s arm.‘Thank you,’ I said gently.
‘Don’t die.’
‘I’ll do my best.’
‘I’m serious,’ Moira said.‘If you die, I will kill him.’
And this time I knew she meant it.
Twenty-Seven
RALEIGH WAS LYING ONthe bed when I reached our room, one arm draped over his eyes to block out the light.He had half undressed.Only his trousers and undershirt remained, the latter partially buttoned, as though he tried to take it off and collapsed halfway.My attention snagged on the slash of exposed skin.
His head rolled to the side as I entered, arm flopping to the mattress as he regarded me through his lashes.I couldn’t help but stare at his teeth.Though there wasn’t a drop of blood in sight, they were extended to their full length.His lips were trembling.
‘You look terrible,’ I said.
‘The road hasn’t been especially kind on you either,’ Raleigh bit back.
‘At least I’ve eaten.’
Raleigh tensed as I sat on the edge of the bed, but I didn’t push the issue.
‘Could you help me out of this?’I asked.I meant my gown.If I had to spend another moment bound in it I was going to scream.For days I’d been plucking at the laces of my corset through mydress, trying to loosen them into some semblance of comfort while we rode.Now it itched terribly.My ribs ached from the constant press of the boning.
‘Is that all right?’Raleigh asked, sitting up quickly.
‘You helped me put it on.’
I shivered as he traced a finger down the line of buttons.‘It’s a different thing altogether to take clothes off,’ he said.
‘Then just do the buttons,’ I breathed.
‘That much I can do.’
One by one Raleigh’s practised hands moved along the button line and the gown began to loosen.I caught the bodice as it fell away, but Raleigh remained where he was, his fingers tracing the bones of my stays.I could have reached the long laces with ease and should have called him off, but instead I stayed in place, silent, flushed, while Raleigh’s cold breath ghosted against the nape of my neck.
I caught the corset too before it could fall and expose me.Raleigh snatched his hands away and swivelled where he was so that he was facing the wall.‘Your bag is next to the armoire.I brought it in while you were at dinner.’His neck was as flushed as mine.‘Tell me when I can turn around.’
I thanked him and quickly dressed into nightclothes, equally annoyed and grateful that he was such a gentleman.Once I was as decent as I could be in the circumstances, I gave him permission to turn around.
He looked tortured.I wanted to scream at him to just eat something.Someone.I didn’t care if he slaughtered all of the other guests in their beds, as long as he saved himself.
‘You’re starving, Raleigh,’ I said.
He turned his face away.‘It’ll hardly kill me.’He forced out a laugh, high-pitched and scornful.Was it me he scorned or himself?I found each possibility as irritating as the other.
‘At this rate you won’t make it home,’ I said.‘You’ll lose yourself before we get there.’
‘I’ll be fine.’
‘WillIbe fine?What do you think will happen when you lose control?’My words were growing sharper, falling out before I could stop them.‘Would you prefer to kill me or Moira?Pull yourself together and take care of yourself for once.’
Raleigh’s expression was dark, resentful.‘You don’t understand.’
‘No.I don’t.’Sick of him not looking at me, I grabbed him by the collar and wrenched him to his feet.He felt light, like a rag doll, but my violence shocked him into some semblance of lucidity.‘I spent five years of my life on the brink of starvation.We did anythingto get enough to eat.We put sawdust in our bread.My neighbours were so hungry they tried to make a soup from foxglove.How do you think it felt when we found their bodies?’I was shaking, but I couldn’t stop.‘It was a relief.A relief!Because one less family meant more food for the survivors.Because no matter how bad it was, we wanted to survive.Weforcedourselves to survive.So don’t sit there and tell me you can’t be bothered to take care of yourself.Do not pity yourself for starving when you can fix it so easily.Eat.Something.’
