Maybe this had been a mistake.
“What are you doing here, Rafael?”
Okay, he wanted to get right to it. I could understand that. The tension in the air was thick enough without dragging this out. But how did I tell the one person I needed in my life to survive that he could no longer be a part of it?
Again.
“I think we need to clear the air about?—”
“The kiss?” His words were quiet, but there was an underlying determination there. Alessio wasn’t going to let me out of this conversation without admitting my transgression.
“Yes.” I swallowed, and steeled myself for the hurt I knew I was about to cause. “It was a mistake, Alessio.”
The silence that descended on the room was like a dark cloud moving in to smother out any and all light, and as I stood there waiting for his response, I felt like a fraud.
The last thing I’d ever brought to this man’s life was light. More like suffering and despair. I needed to let him go. Needed to free him.
I would take this burden on. I would hurt for the both of us.
“Alessio? Did you?—”
“You’ve got some nerve,” he finally said, his somber eyes finding mine across the sparse space. “To come here, to my place,mysanctuary, and try to absolve yourself.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do.”
“Isn’t it?” He cocked his head. “Seems like it to me. In fact, this feels awfully familiar in all the ways.”
He started across the room, careful, quiet steps that made my heart pound louder with each footfall.
“Your decision. Your timetable.Yourchoice.”
“That’s not it at all,” I said as he continued forward, his jaw clenched as tight as the fists by his sides. “We couldn’t talk at the charity event?—”
“And what about the rest of the week?”
I opened my mouth to respond, but he was so close now that I found myself losing my train of thought. Instead, I was laser focused on his long hair and the way it had felt brushing against my cheek when he’d kissed?—
“I needed time.”
“Time to tell me I was a mistake?” Alessio scoffed. “Trust me, I’ve known that for years. You don’t need to tell me. Imagine that for a minute, Rafael, knowing that you’re the one thing the person you loved the most regrets.”
“I don’t need to imagine it,” I whispered, and before I knew I was going to do it, I reached for him, tentative fingers to his stubbled cheek. “I see it in your eyes every time you look at me.”
Alessio’s nostrils flared at my touch as our eyes locked and held.
Walk away,I told myself as the heat of his skin sent a frisson of warmth through my hand, up my arm, and straight to my chest.Walk away before you make this worse for the both of you.
“Alessio,” I said in a voice I barely recognized, “this can’t…it can’t continue. You have to see that. We can’t keep pretending this, us, didn’t happen?—”
“I’m not pretending,” he said. “You’re the one trying to erase it…me.”
“No.” I dropped my hand. “I don’t want to erase you, but…I can’t keep doingthis, either.”
“This.” Alessio’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “You mean showing up to my place at night, alone? Because correct me if I’m wrong, but this is the first time you’ve ever done that, and I didn’t ask you to.”
“I know, but I needed?—”
“What?” Alessio demanded, walking forward until I was forced to back up and hit the wall. “What did youneed,Rafael?”
