“What are you talking about?”
“There’s a reason I never wanted a relationship with a biker. It’s not the life I wanted. I don’t want to wade through half-naked women to find my boyfriend or husband. Even if he’s not touching them, he’s there with them. I don’t want my daughter to walk into a scene like that and find her dad fighting off some skank who thinks she can put her hands on her father and have him. I don’t want my son to see that life and think it’s okay to treat his woman like that.”
“Isolde, that’s not what the life is about. That’s not what I’m about since I met you.”
“I know, but you were once, and happy to live that way. I don’t want my future son to be the same. I don’t want to create a life and a family with you. I can’t trust it. Who’s to say you won’t wake up someday and discover that having a wife who works long shifts and weird hours in a hospital isn’t worth what you gave up? Or that having a wife and kids is a bad trade-off for your party days?”
“I would never?—”
“Maybe you wouldn’t, but maybe you would, Caleb. The pain I felt when I thought you betrayed me nearly destroyed me. What happens when I’ve invested more into us as a couple, when I open my heart to you completely and this love that I feel gets deeper, more meaningful? It would kill me.”
“You love me?” I ask, grasping onto the first thing that means the most to me.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. I want you to be happy, Caleb. I just don’t think I’m the woman meant to bring that joy into your life. We’re just too different.”
Before I can respond, she’s kissing me. I take the kiss and try to pour everything I can into it. I want her to feel how precious she is to me. I want her to know that I love her completely.
When we break apart. I can already see she’s receded to a place I can’t reach. Izzy is on overload. It’s going to kill me, but I need to give her some space. I know it, but I hate every second of it.
“Izzy—”
“I need to end this here. I have my school to worry about, my future career, and there’s just no room for a relationship—especially with someone whose lifestyle is so opposite of who I am as a person. Being a biker and living that life is phenomenal. I love my club family, but it’s not what I want for me or how I want to raise my kids. Take care of yourself, Caleb. Be happy.”
She gets in the car, and I just stand there and watch her leave me. She’s not going to listen to me, but if she thinks this is over, she’s dead wrong.
This is far from over.
22
LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO
CANDYMAN
It’s been a month. One whole fucking month without my woman and I’m tired of this shit. Izzy won’t take my calls at all. She did apparently explain shit to her family, however. They no longer want to kill me—which I guess is the one lone bright spot in my month of hell. Yet, they look at me with pity in their eyes, so that part sucks.
I’m getting desperate, and the woman has turned me into a stalker. She’s the reason I’m about to do something completely insane that will probably have me spending the rest of my life in jail. I don’t really give a fuck at this point because it’s the only shot I have.
For the past two weeks, I’ve resorted to watching through a window of Izzy’s apartment in Lexington, just to catch a glimpse of her. I now know even more information about my woman. For instance, I know she likes BLTs from Winchell’s so much that she has them delivered daily for breakfast. She likes some kind of sandwich called the Unforgettable from Big Blue Deli and rarely eats more than cafeteria food from the hospital for dinner.
I’ve also discovered she wasn’t exaggerating. Her hours are horrible. Izzy often works double shifts and sometimes more—only grabbing a couple of hours of sleep at the hospital between shifts. I’ve also watched her go out to dinner with co-workers and friends. She’s living her life, but she’s not fooling me. Her eyes don’t sparkle. She’s going through the motions just like I am, and that ends tonight.
What I’m doing is drastic. Izzy is going to hate me. But I’m going to do it just the same. That’s why I’m standing outside a room inside a UK dorm that belongs to a friend of hers. She’s staying there tonight because her apartment is being fumigated and her friend is out of town.
It might be a little creepy that I know all of this because I have listening devices inside her apartment. She’ll probably have a cow if she finds out. It will definitely be even worse if she discovers I mirrored her phone so I could read her texts and use that information to make my plans. I’ll deal with the fallout once I’ve finally have her chained to my bed.
I get up my damn nerve and finally knock on the door.
“Caleb? Is everything okay?”
“I’ve missed you, Izzy,” I respond, loving that the cherry red hair has gone back to her natural blonde. God, she’s so fucking gorgeous.
Izzy crosses her arms, lips pressing together. “You mean you miss my mouth.”
She’s trying to be glib and act like she’s not hurting as badly as I am. Two can play that game, I suppose. I give her a cocky grin. “Is that bad? I told you, baby—you have magic lips.”
I can see the pain and disappointment in her eyes. Yet she continues her game by shaking her head. “Caleb, I told you it’s over. I can’t afford to screw up. I have a plan for the future. It doesn’t involve a biker who thinks with his dick—which is really the only reason you want me around anyway.”
“I told you I’d work around your schedule,” I remind her, stepping closer. “We’ll make it work, and I love the way you suck my dick, touch my dick, and take my dick, Izzy. That’s not the only reason I want you though.”
