“Did she tell you that?” Jase held her gaze, like he anticipated her answer to be something that would help him solve all this.
“She didn’t have to. I knew my father and Bob’s relationship was tight. Desiree told me he did all kinds of favors for his friends, looking out for them.”
“So you took that to mean he wouldn’t help you?” Jase seemed to hold his breath.
They were talking about his boss after all.
“Desiree wouldn’t hurt me. Not like that.”
Jase suddenly sat up straight.
Hawk cupped her face. “Why would you say that?”
“He wants me to say that Desiree wasn’t actually trying to help. That because we had a rocky relationship, she wasn’t always on my side.”
“Had? Or Have? Jase asked pointedly.
She stared into Hawk’s steady gaze, her thoughts about Desiree all mixed up in her head. “Wehavea rocky relationship.” The admission was hard to take because that night at the bar was still so fresh in her mind. At least the parts she could remember. Desiree getting upset about her trying to help hook her up with Lincoln. The way she spoke to her. The way she stole her sangria. The drink that drugged her.
She thought about her relationship with her father. How he controlled her. How he degraded her. How he hurt her. How he sometimes made it seem like he cared, then turned around and did something to hurt her. With his words. With his actions. With his knife.
They seemed so similar at times.
Tears filled her eyes as she stared at the floor, unable to look at Hawk any longer with the revelation filling her mind. “I’m in an abusive relationship with Desiree. She controls what we do and when we see each other. She puts me down, making it seem like she’s just trying to “help” me. She wants me to drop everything for her when she needs something, but she doesn’t reciprocate when it’s inconvenient for her.” She finally met Hawk’s gaze. “She’s not a good friend at all. You’ve treated me better in the little while we’ve been together than she has in years. It’s all about her. I just go along because she’s all I have. Or had.”
Lucky sat with that for a second. “When she invites me over, she always asks me to help her clean up while I’m there and she spills her guts about whatever is bothering her. She asks me to watch Krystal so she can run an errand, go on a date, or whatever. I don’t mind watching Krystal. I love her. But now it all feels…calculated.”
Jase tapped the folder with his fingertip again. “I think Desiree likes having you around because you defend her. You make her look like someone who is helpful and nice. I think you want Desiree to be that kind friend. The one you’ve thought you had all these years.”
“She’s changed,” she admitted. “Back then, I really thought she wanted to help me.”
“When did she change?”
“After my family’s murders, Neil’s court hearings, then finding out she was pregnant. It was a lot all at once. I understood why she was so out of sorts about it all. I was a wreck, too, trying to figure out life without my parents and dealing with finishing school and settling their estate. I was so lost in my grief and survival I wasn’t really there for her like she needed me. I think it broke something between us that we haven’t been able to fully mend.”
“When she talked about you being hurt and wanting to do something about it, did she sayshewanted to do something, oryoushould do something?”
“Both, I guess. She wanted us to run away, hit the road and travel. Be wherever we wanted to be. Do whatever we wanted to do.”
“Did you want to do that?” Jase studied her.
“I wanted out, but I couldn’t just go. Sure, we could take her car, but I didn’t have any money. How would we get by? And I had to think about Danny. I couldn’t leave him behind. I couldn’t just leave him with a monster.”
“How did she take that?”
“She tried to tell me that we could find jobs and camp and live like gypsies. She didn’t want to think about practical things or the fact that we were minors who’d be missed and probably have an APB out on us by her father, especially if we took Danny with us.”
“Is there another reason you didn’t want to go with her?” Jase waited out her silence, until she broke and finally spoke.
“She talked about how things would be so much better if my parents were dead. Neil would agree with her and say something had to be done.” She thought about those conversations, how they confused her back then because while she wanted her father out of her life, she didn’t want any of them dead. “After everything happened, Desiree said something to me that I can never get out of my head.”
“What?” Hawk asked, compassion and sympathy in his eyes.
“You should thank the person who did it. Now you’re free.” It wasn’t just what she said, it was the way she said it with a smile. It was disturbing.
She said “the person who did it.” Shouldn’t she have told me to thank Neil?
“You’re afraid of her,” Jase blurted out.
