Jase leaned in close. “I don’t think he was talking to you.”
“Same,” Hawk interjected. “It doesn’t make sense. You were there with Desiree. You saw him coming, then he asked that. Why would he ask if he could see you? He had to be asking Desiree if he could see someone else.”
Lucky shook her head. That didn’t make sense to her at all. He’d sent her countless letters. She never read them, but she could guess he wanted to speak to her about what happened. “If he wanted to see me now that he’s out of jail, he could simply show up at my door. He knows where I live and work.”
Jase tapped his finger straight up and down on the folder on his desk. “True. I couldn’t figure it out, so that must mean I’m missing a piece of the puzzle. So I thought about when all this first happened. Lucky’s family being murdered was the catalyst. Right?”
Lucky found herself thinking back. “Well. Sorta.”
Hawk squatted beside her. He was so tall, they looked at each other nearly eye to eye. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”
“I got picked on a lot at school. I wasn’t popular. Desiree was the outgoing one. I was more on the fringe of her group. They let me tag along, mostly without incident.”
“Explain that to us.” Jase leaned in like Hawk.
“I thought most of the girls liked me, but sometimes they’d leave me behind. Someone wrote bitch on my locker once. I’d find something gross smeared on it. A few times someone wouldaccidentallyspill something on me.”
Hawk put both his hands on her thighs. “I’m really sorry you were bullied like that.”
She brushed her fingers over his jaw. “You were probably the most popular boy in school. Always.”
He smirked. “I did okay.”
She bet he did. And he probably didn’t pick on others. He was too much a protector.
She shook her head and rolled her eyes at how he downplayed his popularity. “When I meet your parents, are they going to tell me all about the sports you played, the top grades you made?”
He gave her a sheepish look. “Maybe. But what’s really important is that I’m the luckiest bastard on the planet because the most beautiful woman, inside and out, that I’ve ever known decided I’m hers. No one compares to you. High school flings included.”
“Flings?”
“I’ve never really been a relationship guy. I was too busy with sports, school, then the military. You’re the only one I ever saw myself with forever.” He leaned in and kissed her like Jase wasn’t their captive audience.
Jase sighed. “Okay, that’s all great. And super sweet. My teeth ache. But we’re missing the point I’m trying to make. Lucky, when you think back on that time and around the time your family was murdered, what was Desiree like? Supportive? Kind? Distant? Were you getting along?”
Lucky had to really think about it. “She was…smug. Self-assured. Maybe a little too cocky sometimes and it irritated people. Like she is now. But worse back then. She thought the world revolved around her. She acted out, but there were no consequences. It used to make me really mad that she got away with everything and I…” She deflated in the chair, hanging her head.
Hawk pressed his hand to her cheek. “You were being abused. Cut. Degraded at home. You were sticking up for your brother. Probably your mother, too. You couldn’t get away with anything. You couldn’t escape.” Hawk squeezed her thighs again, trying to get her attention. To look at him.
“Yes,” she answered on a whisper. “It seemed like everyone liked her. Covered for her. Went along with her. And I felt invisible most of the time, like nobody saw my pain.”
Hawk kissed her temple. “They saw it. They were just dealing with their own shit and didn’t know how to help you.”
Jase leaned on his forearms on his knees. “Teenagers are selfish and trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in. Everyone’s just jockeying for the best position, worried about if everyone likes them. So were those other girls really Desiree’s friends? Or were they just using her, or vice versa?”
“Yes.” The immediate response didn’t actually feel true.
“Really?” Jase raised a brow.
“Well…I was truly her friend. I had been since we were little.Iwas always there forher. We lived right across the street from each other.” She thought about the other girls. “Desiree runs hot and cold. One day she’s super sweet, protective, on your side. Everyone loves to be around her when she’s like that. She can be so charismatic. But then she can be a real bitch, picking at you, saying things she apologizes for the next day. She’s always been…moody. She gets fixated on things.”
“Like what?” Hawk asked.
“If someone was mean to someone she cared about, she wouldn’t let it go. She wanted to get even. If she felt there was some injustice, she’d desperately find a way to make things right. If she did something wrong, she’d go overboard trying to fix it. If someone was an asshole, she’d be a bigger asshole back. I benefitted from that a lot. I knew she cared, even if she didn’t always show it. It made it easier for me to dismiss the times when she was mean. Sometimes she could be a bully. I think to make herself feel better, bigger, stronger. It was an act. Sometimes, I think she feels too much and doesn’t know what to do with all of it. She wants everyone to pay attention to her, but she doesn’t realize she’s pushing them away at the same time.”
“How did she react to you being hurt by your father?”
She didn’t like to think about that time in her life. “I hid a lot of it for a long time, even from her. But once she knew it was happening, she kept pushing me to do something. Fight back. Run. Go to the police, even though we both knew her father would side with my dad.”
