That place of numbness she both craved and hated protected her in a way. She didn’t embarrass herself in front of strangers. Or Cody.
He had to think she was losing her mind.
Cody squeezed her hand. “Stay with me, Brooke.” He led her into the third-floor apartment that was meant to be hers. The light blue walls were soothing. The massive amount of light coming in from the tall windows made the place feel open and airy. She’d imagined herself here. In her mind’s eye, she saw the furniture she had sitting in online carts, just waiting for her to click buy. The crib and changing table she and Mindy Sue bothfound at different times and texted to each other, saying, “This is the one.”
“Brooke, honey, what is it?” Cody swept his thumb under her eye, catching the falling tear.
“I imagined us here. Me and her. All the furniture I planned to buy. All the memories we’d make. I’d be on my own, but with her. Our first place.” She looked around the empty space and felt it echo inside her empty womb. “She’s not here.”She’s not coming. She’ll never be here.
Cody pressed his forehead to hers and looked deep into her eyes. “Can you please try to imagine a new future? With me. We can redecorate the house. It’s due for a refresh. We’ll pick things out together.”
She looked into his earnest eyes and asked about the one thing that had been circling her mind with everything else. “Did you really decide to end things with Kristi before you brought me home?”
He cupped her face and never stopped staring into her eyes. “Yes. I couldn’t pretend that I was happy settling when I really loved you. I’m happiest when I’m with you. No one compares to you.”
“But I’m not that Brooke anymore.”
“You’re her. More than and a little less than you used to be. And that’s okay. You’ve changed. I’ve changed. But this remains the same: you’re still the only woman I love more than anything.”
Something in her heart clicked back into place and eased her worries. “I’ll make a lot of money on this place. Someone’s going to love it.”
Cody’s palpable relief told her she’d eased his mind and heart, too. “I guess that means you’re staying home with me.”
Home. It had always been that to her. But right now…the way he said it…like it was their home…it hit differently. And sheimagined that they really were a couple, living in the big house, loving each other. The way she’d always dreamed it would be.
“I always want to be with you.”
He sucked in a breath and stood back from her. “Do you mean that?”
She went up on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him close. “Yes. I mean it. I’m just…”
“Scared,” he finished for her. “Like it will be taken away again. I know. I’ve felt that, too. But I won’t let it happen. Never again, Brooke. You’re mine. I’m yours. I promise.”
She loved the feel of his arms around her. “I need some time.”
“We have all the time in the world.” Cody stared down at her for a moment, then slowly bent his head, giving her time to ease away from the kiss he intended. She met him halfway, hoping to find the peace and intimacy his lips offered.
The kiss was slow and sensual. A renewal of what they’d missed while apart. A tempting prelude to the passion they once shared. Cody kept it soft, light, a reminder that they did in fact have time to take things slow and let them build. Mend. And turn into something new and lasting.
They didn’t have to rush.
Tell her heart that. It pounded in her chest as Cody took the kiss deeper, his tongue sliding along hers. Slow. Easy. Like he could kiss her all day and not get tired of her taste or her lips pressed to his.
It was a reclaiming.
Brooke had to admit, it felt so good to be held and loved like this. She wanted more. She wanted forever.
She’d lost that fear of losing him, knowing he’d finally chosen her. Not because of the baby, or because he’d almost lost her. He’d made the decision before he knew anything about the pregnancy or her attack.
Her continued grief made it hard to be joyful, even though right now, in this moment, she was happier than she’d been in a long time to be back in his arms, knowing they had a future together. She’d work her way through her grief eventually. She’d get help, because she wanted to move on. With Cody.
“Get out of your head, baby, and just feel me. Us. I kiss you and everything seems possible. I hope you feel that, too.”
“I do.” She went down to her flat feet and rested her forehead to his chin. “I still melt when you touch me. I still want you like I’ve never wanted anyone else.”
Cody tipped her chin up again with a finger beneath her chin. “You make me feel that way, too. I love you.”
“I love you, too. I’m just not all here yet.”
