It was just so hard to believe he wanted to be with her.
Even more unbelievable, he loved her.
She squeezed his hand even though it hurt her broken arm. “I do need you. You’re the only one who knows what it feels like to lose her.”
He sighed heavily and held her tight, kissing her head again. “We’re going to get through this, Brooke. I promise you. I’m going to make everything up to you. We’re going to have what we’ve both wanted for so long.”
“You said you wantedher.” She couldn’t help herself. It hurt that after what they’d shared, he’d let her leave without saying how he really felt about her.
Cody let out a ragged sigh. “Biggest mistake of my life, letting you go. I woke up that morning feeling like finally my whole world was perfect. I wanted to take you for a picnic by the creek you love so much. I’d make love to you in your favorite spot. I wanted to take you out to dinner that night at a quiet restaurant and hold your hand across the table and show you that I didn’t care who saw us together. It didn’t matter anymore because Iloved you and I wanted everyone to see how happy we were together.”
Cody buried his face in her hair. “You have no idea how much I hurt for you, seeing you standing in the doorway watching all that play out. I wanted to go to you and beg you to understand. I wanted to wrap you in my arms and tell you that you were the woman I loved with my whole heart. But I couldn’t.”
“Because you wanted to be all in for the baby.”
“Yes. After you left, I did what I had to do. I tried to forget you and move on with my life. But there was something always missing. And honestly, I thought you hated me for what I’d done. I tried to make the best of things and appreciate what I had. Kristi. A baby on the way. Then she lost it and I thought of you. We could have a second chance.” He rubbed his fingers over his forehead. “Then I misunderstood your text when I asked if we could talk. I thought you had someone new, someone you cared about. It wrecked me. I truly thought I’d lost you.”
“You never lost me. I was just waiting until after you married her to come back and find a way for us to be friends again.”
“And parents to our girl.”
“Yes. I didn’t know you loved me.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I should have told you. I’m so damn sorry.” He held her close and rested his cheek on her head.
It felt good to get it all out and clear the air.
Maybe they could start over. But not if they carried all this guilt with them. She held him tighter. “I just want to be here. Now. I don’t want to think about it anymore. And I don’t want it to be a wall between us again. I’m tired, Cody. I hurt from the inside out.”
“I know you do, sweetheart. We’ll find a way to heal.”
“I’m trying. It’s so damn hard.” Some moments it was all she could do to take her next breath.
“I’m here. I’ll help you.”
“Stop blaming yourself. Stop feeling sorry for me. Stop feeling guilty. It makes me feel guilty, and I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
“I’ll try.” He held her and let all they’d said settle.
She needed time, the quiet, and him.
Cody nuzzled his nose into her hair, then kissed her softly behind her ear. “Do you want to go down and get something to eat?”
She nearly smiled. “Are you desperate for coffee?”
He pressed his lips to her ear. “I’m desperate for you.”
She felt the same way because she felt a tiny bit like her old self lying this close to him. “Cody…”
“Don’t worry, honey. We’re going to work our way back to each other. I know you need time to heal and to learn to trust me again.”
“I do trust you. I was only going to ask you to kiss me.” Because when he did, she forgot everything but how good it was to be lost in him.
“Sweetheart, you never have to ask.” To prove it, he ran his hand through the side of her hair and waited for her to turn to him and nestle close again. He brushed his lips over her mouth in a soft caress, more of a whisper than an actual touch of lips. He increased the pressure.
She felt lighter than she’d felt in months with his lips warm against hers. His thick erection pressed to her hip. She instinctively moved against him, unable to stop her response. She wanted to touch him, feel him pressed against her. Hampered by her injuries, she focused on his mouth connected to hers and savored the taste and texture of him. God, she’d missed him.
The memory of their night together, all the fantasies she’d had over the last six month of his hands on her, his lips, his tongue, his cock deep inside her, making her feel wanted and cherishedlike he did that night, had built up in her mind and body. She ached with wanting him and what they’d shared. She dreamed of having him back in her arms. This was just a taste of what it had been like, but it was also a release of the daunting past six months and a renewal of all the feelings and untamed desire that still burned between them even if they were still being careful not to hurt any of her wounds.
