Moving set off a quake of pain that sent one aftershock after another of spasms and agony through her system. She tried to settle into a position that didn’t press on any injury, but with so many, that was hard to do.
The tears came again in a wave of sadness that washed over her. She tried to be quiet and not wake Cody. She didn’t need or want his sympathy. Even worse, his pity.
She just wanted to be left alone to grieve and disappear into nothing so she didn’t feel anything anymore.
A hand settled on her shoulder. She nearly jumped out of her skin and sucked in a gasp, ready to scream as a shockwave of pain radiated through her whole body. “Hey, sweetheart.”
She flinched at the sound of his voice and his light touch.
Adam had done this to her. He’d taken her sense of security. For months now, she’d lived in a constant state of fear.
“It’s okay, sweetheart.” Cody brushed his fingers through her tangled hair. “It’s just me. It’s Cody. Remember? I came last night.”
Her tears subsided and she tensed even more under his soft touch.
He didn’t mean it.
She met his blue gaze. “Let’s get this over with, so we can both end this.”
Cody’s brows shot up. “What are you talking about?”
“Do whatever you need to do. Yell. Rage. Tell me how you think I’m a terrible friend for keeping her from you. Tell me it’s my fault she’s g-gone. I didn’t p-protect h-h-er. I…I d-didn’t s-save h-her.” She choked out one sobbing cry after the next. “Go ahead! Say it! I deserve it. I can take it.”
Cody shook his head. “You couldn’t take a gentle breeze right now, sweetheart.”
“How can you call me that?”
“Because none of this is your fault. It’s mine. But I’m going to fix it. I promise.”
“You can’t fix this.” Tears welled in her eyes. “She’s gone! And it’s not your fault.” Her words showed her rising agitation.
Cody hung his head. “Maybe you’re right. It’shis. But the divide between you and me…that’smyfault.”
Brooke turned away from him. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“Yes, it fucking does.” He leaned over the bed so he could see her face. “It matters more than anything. And I’m going to prove it to you.”
The tears wouldn’t stop. It was too late. There’d been too much damage, too much loss to go back. “I just want to be left alone.”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t.”
She tried to roll away from him and ended up hurting herself. She groaned in agony as another wave of tears hit.
Cody softly brushed his fingertips over her hair. “Hey, baby, come on now. Be still. Take a breath. Just one. Nice and slow.”
She tried as she shifted over to her back again and settled into the pillows surrounding her.
“That’s it. There now. One more.” His fingers sifting through her hair settled her even more. “That’s better. Relax. It’s just after six. You can have another round of meds.” Cody uncapped bottles and shook out pills next to her. The mini fridge under the desk opened and closed. “I’m going to slip my arm under your shoulders and lift you up a bit so you can take these.”
He moved her slow and easy, lifting her head, handing her the pills, then the bottle of water.
She downed all three, then settled back on the bed and laid her hand over their daughter on her belly. She needed to keep her close to help ease the overwhelming sense of loss.
“Those should kick in soon. You’ll feel better.”
“Not likely.”Not ever.
Cody’s gaze swept over her, landing on all the injuries and evidence of the brutal attack she’d survived only to wish she were dead.
