I can’t believe I messed up like this!
Hating that I’ve put us in this awful situation and made him angry, I whimper, “I’m sorry.”
My breathing keeps speeding up until nothing but puffs of air burst over my lips. My chest tightens, and I grip the fabric of my shirt as a panic attack rips through me.
“Christ, Nova,” Easton exclaims, darting forward to close the distance between us. “You did nothing wrong. Calm down for a second so we can talk. Okay?”
Unable to control the trembling in my body, his words don’t sink in. All I can think about is that I’ve ruined everything.
My skin grows clammy as I try to slow down my breaths.
Easton lifts his hands to my face, framing my cheeks, and looking deep into my eyes, he says, “Just breathe. It’s okay. Shh. Deeper breaths.”
Somehow, I manage to calm down enough to stop the panic attack. Feeling rotten, I pull my face free from his hold and take a few steps away.
Trying to do some damage control, my voice is hoarse as I say, “I’m sorry I got carried away. It was ...” my mind races to come up with a valid excuse, “a spur-of-the-moment thing and won’t happen again.” My eyes dart to Easton’s worried face before lowering to the plush carpet. “I’d appreciate it so much if you could pretend tonight didn’t happen, and we can go on as normal. If not for me, then for Lainey’s sake.” Desperate to fix things, I keep rambling, “Because of the relationship I just got out of and losing Rachel, it’s hard to think clearly. I’m so sorry.”
Easton stares at me for so long I can’t keep from whimpering, “Please, can we forget tonight happened? I promise nothing like that will ever happen again.”
I’m confused when he looks disappointed. “Is that what you really want?”
Yes. I just want things to return to normal.
Sucking in a deep breath, I give him another pleading look. “Please. Lainey’s going through enough, and I don’t want my stupid actions upsetting her more.” I quickly gesture at him. “I also don’t want to upset you.”
His eyes narrow on me. “I’m the one who initiated the kiss.” He folds his arms over his chest. “I’m sorry I crossed the line.”
His words sink in, and I realize we were both at fault.
“You’re under a lot of pressure,” I say to stop him from feeling bad.
He shakes his head, and uncrossing his arms, he pushes his fingers through his hair before locking eyes with me and admitting, “I kissed you because I wanted to.”
I’ve been trying not to dissect the kiss, but now that he’s said the words, it’s impossible to ignore the fact that Easton kissed me with so much passion it ignited a fire between us.
He begins to move closer to me but stops and shakes his head again. “Christ, Nova. I’m falling head over fucking heels for you, and I thought you felt the same. Did I read things wrong between us?”
Easton is falling for me?
My lips part in shock, and I’m stunned for a moment before my emotions spiral out of control as happiness and worry war inside me.
Even though I love Easton, I can’t take a chance on the only dream I’ve ever had. I have to put Lainey first. If Easton and I get romantically involved and things don’t work out, it will disrupt Lainey’s entire life.
And I’ll lose him.
The thought of losing Easton and Lainey is unbearable, and I begin to shake my head. “It doesn’t matter how we feel. Lainey comes first.”
“I’m pretty sure she’ll be fine with us dating,” he says, his eyes not leaving my face for a second.
I shake my head again. “If we get romantically involved and it doesn’t work out, it will disturb Lainey’s life.” My chin quivers, my emotions completely out of control. “And I’ll lose your friendship. I’m not willing to take the risk.” I give Easton a pleading look. “This is the first time I feel like I belong somewhere and I have a purpose.”
Easton sucks in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. He turns his head and stares at the dressing table for painfully long minutes before he looks at me again.
“Are you attracted to me?”
My tongue darts out to wet my dry lips before I whisper, “It doesn’t matter how I feel.”
His features tighten, and his tone is tense as he asks, “Are you attracted to me, Nova?”
