I feel like bursting out in tears, but I manage to keep control over the urge as I nod. “But—”
He takes a step toward me. “Do you love me?”
Oh God.
Trying to diminish my feelings for him, I reply, “Of course. I’ve known you all my life.”
When it looks like he’s going to fire another question my way, I hold up a hand. “Stop, Easton,” I beg, my heart thundering in my chest. “I just got out of a horrible relationship. We lost Rachel. Lainey needs us.” My voice cracks because I can’t have the one thing I’ve wanted for so many years. I can’t be selfish. “I just want ...” I swallow hard as I force the lie over my lips, “I just want to be your friend so I can be there for you and Lainey.”
Sadness creeps into his eyes, and it takes a brutal swing at my heart. “If that’s what you really want.”
Unable to force the words over my lips again, I can only nod.
Easton turns around, and as he leaves my bedroom, my heart clenches painfully in my chest.
My hands fly up to cover my mouth so I can smother the sob as it escapes me.
No matter how badly I want Easton, I can’t be selfish. This is what’s best for everyone.
Chapter 22
Easton
After a shitty night’s sleep, I lie on my bed staring up at the ceiling.
I’ve gone over the kiss and conversation a million times, wishing things had played out differently.
Everything she said made sense. She just got out of an abusive relationship, and we have to think about Lainey.
The bastard in me was hoping Nova wanted me as much as I wanted her.
But damn, it sure felt like she wanted me when I kissed her.
She admitted to being attracted to me, and my gut tells me she loves me.
She just needs time.
My mind races to come up with a plan until I finally decide the only thing I can do is go on as usual.
I’ll show Nova that I’m in her life to stay and that we’re meant to be together.
Nova
Lying on my stomach, I hold the pillow tightly as the memories of last night keep playing on repeat in my mind.
Easton catching me in the living room while I was watching his movie.
Him kissing me, and how amazing it felt.
The horrible talk that followed.
Letting out a sigh, I check the time on my phone, and when I see it’s already past eight in the morning, I know I can’t keep lying here. I have to face whatever awaits me today.
Climbing off the bed, I walk to the closet and grab a dress before heading to the bathroom.
The heartbreak caused by last night’s disaster makes my grief feel a million times heavier and the pit in my stomach bottomless.
While I go through my morning routine, my anxiety grows until it feels like I’ve swallowed a swarm of bees.
