Nova stops in the middle of the living room and looks around. “It feels like I should be doing something.”
“Wine,” I say, changing direction to the kitchen. “We’re both going to have the rest of the bottle Rachel had me open.”
Nova scrunches her nose. “Is it still good to drink?”
I let out a chuckle. “You really don’t like wine, do you?”
She shakes her head.
“Fine, I won’t make you drink it.” I decide to pour myself a tumbler of bourbon instead, and carrying it out to the veranda, I take a seat on a chair, and stare at the backyard that’s lit up with garden lights.
When Nova comes out of the house, I quickly grab hold of the other chair and pull it right next to mine. “Come sit.”
She sighs as she takes a seat, and pulling her knees against her chest, she rests her cheek on them and looks at me.
I take a sip of the amber fluid, then ask, “How are you holding up?”
“It feels unreal,” she whispers. “I don’t think it’s sunk in yet.”
I nod before drinking more of the bourbon.
We’re quiet for a while, then I murmur, “For twenty-eight years, everything I did was for Rachel.”
“Now everything you’ll do will be for Lainey,” she says, reminding me that I have a little human to take care of, to love, to live for.
Thinking Nova might need to have the conversation, I ask, “You’re going to continue living here, right?”
Her teeth tug at her bottom lip. “Only if you’re okay with it.”
I hold my hand out to her, and when she places her palm on mine, I wrap my fingers around her, saying, “Yes, I’m okay with it. Like I said earlier, I’m going to need you.”
Relief flashes over her beautiful features. “I’ll stay as long as you let me.”
Brushing my thumb over her fingers, I stare into her eyes. “We’ll get through this together.”
She nods as she lifts her head, and staring at the garden, she says, “For Lainey.”
And for us.
We continue to sit outside, and when I’m done with my drink, I set the tumbler down on the ground. Leaning back in the chair, I link my fingers with Nova’s and look at our joined hands.
“It happened so fast,” Nova murmurs. “We were supposed to have more time.”
I know.
I watch as the blow knocks the air from her when it sinks in that Rachel’s gone.
Pulling at her hand, I say, “Come here.”
Nova gets up as her chest heaves, and taking hold of her hips, I tug her down onto my lap. When I wrap my arms around her, she presses her face into the crook of my neck. It sounds like her sobs are being ripped from the depths of her soul.
After a few minutes, she calms down enough to say, “I already miss her so much.”
“Me too.”
Nova rests her cheek against my chest, and just like she did earlier with Lainey, I draw random patterns on her back.
I have no idea how much time passes, but I become aware of her snuggling into my chest before she stills.
