Realizing she’s fallen asleep, I press a kiss to her hair and whisper, “Sleep tight, beautiful.”
At least one good thing has come of the past few weeks, and it’s that Nova feels safe enough with me to sleep in my arms.
Chapter 18
Nova
The past three days have been a blur. I’ve spent most of my time consoling Lainey, and I think I’ve run out of tears to cry. I feel kind of numb as Easton pushes the spikes of the four rockets containing the fireworks into the lawn.
To our right is a big white screen that Sylvia arranged so we can watch Rachel’s farewell video to us. We found a short letter with it that said we also need to play a specific song when we light the fireworks.
Once everything is ready, Easton comes to stand beside Lainey. He presses play, and the projector throws Rachel’s smiling face onto the screen.
My heart clenches painfully, and my throat already starts to strain.
“Hey, guys,” her voice echoes around us. “You are the best family any girl could ask for. I leave knowing I was loved and cherished. I don’t want you to mourn me, but instead, celebrate the wonderful life I got to live. I want to become your favorite memories. I want you to share jokes about me at barbeques.” Her smile is filled with love, and she looks so healthy. “Now light those fireworks, and let me go out with a bang.” She blows us a kiss, and we watch as she stops the recording.
“I don’t know any jokes about Mommy,” Lainey sobs.
“Your mother once made me eat a mud cake, telling me it was chocolate,” Easton says, his voice tense with grief.
Remembering the day, I chuckle softly. “You brushed your teeth twice.”
“Eww.” Lainey also manages to chuckle, then we watch as Easton walks to the fireworks.
I connect my phone to the Bluetooth speaker and press play on the song Rachel selected. When the lyrics to “Forever & Always” by Written by Wolves begin to fill the air, Easton lights the first rocket.
It shoots high into the air and explodes into bright-pink sparkles. Another goes up, filling the sky with blues, then the third adds purple before the last rocket ends with a bright green that lights up the entire area.
I’ll remember you forever and always, Rach. You were the best part of my life.
My sight blurs, but I blink the tears away, and walking back to Lainey, I place my hand on her shoulder, and ask, “Are you doing okay?”
She tries to nod, but then her face crumbles. “It was so pretty. Just like Mommy.”
“Yeah,” I agree as I pull her into a hug.
When the song’s last notes fade away, I let go of Lainey so I can disconnect my phone from the speaker.
A heavy wave of grief rolls over me, and it feels like it’s trying to crush my chest.
“Can we watch the video again?” Lainey asks, her voice fragile.
“Of course,” Easton answers. He fiddles with the projector, and we watch it two more times with Lainey, then he rubs her back gently and says, “It’s time for you to get ready for bed.”
“I’ll get the bath ready.” I smile at my goddaughter. “Do you want bubbles?”
She nods, and we all head upstairs. When I open the faucets in the tub, Easton presses a kiss to the top of her head before leaving the bathroom.
I check the temperature constantly, making sure it’s not too hot before I shut off the faucets.
“Will you stay with me?” Lainey asks as she pulls her shirt over her head.
“Of course.” I take a seat on the closed toilet lid, and when she climbs into the tub, I ask, “Is the temperature right?”
She nods, scooping some bubbles into her hands. Her sad gaze darts to me, and I can see she wants to ask something.
“You can talk to me about anything,” I encourage her.
