When did she do that?
“What’s wrong?”
“Eloise.”
She groans, “When are you going to let her go, for St. Glizzy’s sake? You gotta get over her. You know what could happen—”
“No, I mean, there were somethings that happened in Toronto, and now I can’t—”
“Things?” She cuts me off, eyes wide and a grin curling her lips. She looks like the Joker when she stares at me like this.
My cheeks are hotter than flames. I shouldn’t have called. I need to go. My eyes dart towards the door and, like she’s between the pipes guarding the net, she plants a hand on my shoulders. “No. You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s got you so squirrelly.”
I shake my head. “There’s nothing. I was wrong. I should go…“
“Stay seated, or I call Mom.”
I scowl. “Brynn hates it when you call her that.”
Winnie grins. “Sucks that she’s not here to hear it then. Tell me what’s got your knockers in a twist.”
“I think the phrase is knickers.”
She makes a dismissive noise. “Oh, those too.” The bartender snorts as they walk past, and I wonder if people around think we’re insane. Sometimes I feel like it. I look at the people around us, and with a thundering heart and an intense urge to puke despite getting rid of my hangover on the flight, I rip off the band-aid.
“Eloise and I slept together,” I say quickly, not looking at her.
Her sputtering makes me look at her face and then panic because she’s growing red and I think she’s choking. “You slept together?” she asks weakly.
I nod. “There was only one bed, and we couldn’tget an extra room, so we were stuck together, but then we said that there’d be a pillow wall, but I woke up cuddling her. Both nights.”
“But you’re a big cuddler, aren’t you?”
“No,” I hiss, “I never cuddled with Frank. I’m realizing that everything I did with him was like, weird and icky and sometimes performative. Like I had to date him so my parents would be happy.“
“Oh,” she whispers, “That’s rough, dude.”
“I know. But we cuddled, and then she looked really pretty when we went out for drinks with Harrington.”
“She took you out with Harrington? Jeez, are you sure you aren’t fucked up right now? Harrington’s a beast to party with.”
I nod. “I got over my hangover before we flew out today,” she winces, “But that’s not all, because I remember she looked so pretty and we were talking in the elevator, and I think… I think I kissed her. But we also danced, and it was really fun.”
“Hold on. You kissed her?”
I nod. “Well yeah, but on the cheek. I would never kiss her on the lips. I’m straight.”
Winnie’s eyebrows seem to disappear behind her fringe. “Taylor Megan Matthews, you kissed her on the cheek?”
I shrug. “Just to thank her.” My voice is an octave higher. Clearing my throat, I continue. “It was just niceto have her around. I know I was a bitch before and I was really insecure, and now—I like having her with me.”
“With you?”
“Yeah, like, I enjoy her company.”
Winnie’s jaw drops. “So, are you telling me this to kill me, or is there a larger point to this conversation?”
My hands are suddenly more invested in clenching around the glass of tonic water. Every sip I take is fuzzy and resets my thoughts with how crisp it is. “How did you know you weren’t straight?”
