Fallon waves him off. “They’ll be together for three days. Think of it as intensive friendship building. That’s what you need for teammates, right? To be the very best of friends?”
He’s silenced. “Well, that’s everything from me. If you have any questions, don’t reach out,” Xe say, throwing us a peace sign with flaked black polish before disappearing.
“The boarding information—” Eloise calls out.
“Already in your inboxes!” Xe say before disappearing into the building.
The silence is too loud. I think that I’m going to hyperventilate at the thought of a last-minute trip being sprung on me. Eloise seems much more at ease with the idea. “Well, we can connect with Kenz and Blake and maybe get dinner together,” she suggests. I nod, trying not to show the way my mind is racing at a couple hundred kilometres a second. She reaches out, placing a hand on my arm.
I can feel the heat burning through my jersey and use it to ground myself for a minute.
“Right,” I say after clearing my throat. The stubborn knot of panic is still waiting there for something else. A penny to drop. “I guess we should go get ready for the flight?”
“Make sure you got some media outfits,” Coach mutters. I wave off the advice, pretending to breathenormally until we’re showering and getting changed. Eloise is humming, the sound bouncing off the tiles into my ears.
It’s too loud.
I bite back the need to snap at her and give myself a quick shower and change. “I’ll meet you at the airport,” I say, throwing the hood of my sweater on as I leave the locker room and walk a couple hundred metres down the corridor to Marguerite’s office.
I knock on it swiftly and bite back the concern that I didn’t book an appointment with her. I didn’t think this through. Usually, I have an appointment, and it’s online in a space where no one will see me reaching out or hear me talking to her.
Fuck, this was a mistake.
“Taylor, I’m happy to see you,” she says warmly.
Usually it’s soothing, but it feels overwhelming to be here in person, under her watchful eyes. “I’m sorry, I should have made an appointment– ”
“Come on in.”
I bite back the stream of thoughts that are threatening to spill out of me and nod, stepping in and watching her click the door closed.
I sit down in the chair opposite her desk and try to flex my hands in an attempt to focus on something other than my breathing.
“Where would you like to get started?” she asks, “You usually wait until your appointments.”
“I’m sorry, I should have reached out, but I just found out that I have to go to Toronto with Eloise tonight and it feels like too much,” I let out a tiny whimper, biting back tears. “I don’t want to go to Toronto with her.”
“Who told you you’re going to Toronto?”
“Fallon. We’re doing a bunch of press junkets together.”
She nods, taking in the way I’m slowly trying to sit with my foot under my body and my other knee under my chin. “Are you panicking about the fact that you have to go to Toronto or that you’re going with her?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Do you like travelling?”
I nod. “When I know what’s going on. I don’t like, like...” I trail off, not sure of what to say.
“Spontaneity? Sudden change?” she prompts, and I nod.
“Yeah.” The weight that was causing my lungs to struggle seems to lessen. “How did you know?”
Marguerite, with her warm brown eyes and her dark red bob, smiles at me softly. “Taylor, this is not the first time you’ve struggled with change this year.”
I nod. “I think it has—”
“Taylor.” She levels me with a stern glance, and I try not to wither into my seat.
