Farshid’s voice cuts out with a choking sound. Like someone punched him in the throat. But there’s no one here, just the two of you, glaring across the table, breathing hard. Farshid’s eyes are wide, and he looks like he’s going to explode, flip the table or maybe smash it in two.
He lurches away so fast he knocks over his chair. He grabs his laptop. Scoops his notebook off the ground. Stuffs everything into his backpack and fights with the zipper as he stomps to the entryway to stuff his feet into his shoes.
“Where are you going?”
“Home,” he says. His voice has gone soft now. Shaky and low.
“You can’t just walk.”
“It’s only a few miles.”
“But…”
You don’t know what you expected, but not this. Not him running away.
“What about the project?”
He yanks his shoelaces so tight you’re surprised he doesn’t slice off his own foot. But then he’s standing again, and you didn’t mean to get so close, because now you’re basically chest to chest. And you know he’s bigger and taller than you, but something about him seems so small right now.
Small and afraid.
Afraid of… you?
He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He just shakes his head, yanks the door open, and runs. Down your driveway, outonto the sidewalk, arms slicing, legs flying, like he runs every day. He probably does.
You watch him go, and all that fire you felt, all that righteous anger at him being such a jerk to you for so many months, drains away.
You’re not even sure you were actually angry. Maybe you were just sad. Is that what this hollow inside you is?
Yeah. You’re sad.
And now you made him sad, too. Sad and afraid.
What does he have to be afraid of, anyway?
You don’t have to wonder if people know you’re—
Oh.
Oh no.
Maybe youdiddo something to him. Maybe you did the worst possible thing you could’ve done to him.
Maybe he has every right to be afraid of you.
Maybe you’re a bad guy after all.
22FARSHID
Your heart is pounding, half from the pace you’ve set yourself, half because you can’t believe what you almost said.
Did Dayton catch it? Did he know what you were about to say?
Did you stop yourself in time?
You don’t know. You don’t know.
You don’t know.
