Farshid shrugs and keeps looking down, though his voice pitches back up. “We’re just friends.”
“I heard she asked you out and you turned her down.”
Another glance up at you, longer this time, and you think his cheeks get darker. His skin is brown and doesn’t blush like yours, a crimson flush that can be seen from space, but you’re pretty sure he’s blushing.
He shrugs. “I didn’t like her like that.”
“Why? She’s hot.” You picture Brody, wondering aloud how Farshid managed to hook up with her in the first place. As if he didn’t know all the girls talked about Farshid’s looks. As if he hadn’t started lifting more to try and keep up.
“Can we just focus on the project?” Farshid scowls and turns back to his computer, but his face is definitely turning a reddish brown, and his nostrils are flaring, and something in you won’t let it go, not until you get a real rise out of him.
“I’m just saying. You totally fumbled the ball.”
Farshid mutters something.
“What?”
He sighs and looks back up, his dark eyebrows drawn to a point. “I said, she’s not a ball. She’s a person. Maybe if you and your friends didn’t treat all the girls so bad, you could get a date yourself.”
“Dates are for losers,” you say, even though it stings, because youalmosthad a date. Would have, if Brody hadn’t accidentally sabotaged you. But Brody apologized for that. And Farshid’s here in front of you, acting like he’s better than you.
But he’s not.
“Whatever,” Farshid says again. He pulls his notes closer, but that tightness in your stomach won’t go away. You grab his notebook out of his hands.
“What is wrong with you?” he asks, and a thrill of fear seizes your spine, because he’s a lot bigger than you, you just forgot that for the moment because he was hunched over. He’s always so quiet, it honestly didn’t occur to you that he could beat you up if he wanted to.
But you’re all fired up now.
“Nothing. What’s wrong withyou? We’re supposed to be working together and you barely talk.”
“Maybe I don’t have much to say to you.” Farshid crosses his arms. Theyarerather large. But he can’t actually do anything, not in your house. He’s stuck here—you’re both stuck here—and you’re so sick and tired of everyone,everyone, treating you like crap.
“Seriously, how long are you going to punish me for something I did last year?” You toss his notebook back at him, but it misses and sails over his shoulder. “You’re such a bully.”
Farshid’s jaw drops. “I’ma bully? You’re the one who…”
You wait for him to say it, but he gets this look in his face, like he’s going to be sick, and that just makes you mad.
“I said I was sorry, dude. I got punished. What more do you want?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “You act like saying you’re sorry was supposed to fix everything. But I haven’t seen you at RC. I haven’t seen you making amends. I haven’t even seen you tell Brody to stop being such a jerk to everyone.”
That’s not fair at all. Brody’s a good guy. “Brody’s not—”
“You don’t want forgiveness. You don’t want to make things better. You just want people to forget what you did.”
That’s not true. You took accountability. You wrote that apology note. And why would Farshid expect you at RC? That’s for performative jerks like Cooper, who’d rather look good than actually do good.
“You don’t know me. You don’t know what I want.” You kind of wish youwerein a boxing ring. Yeah, you’d lose, but maybe you could land a few punches at least. Maybe that would make you feel better. Right now, all you can do is shout.
“And why are you so mad anyway? I didn’t even do anything to you!”
“You don’t get it, do you? You did it toeveryone. All of us. And you act like you’re the victim. You act like it was just one word, like it doesn’t matter, but it does. You have no idea what it’s like. You have no idea how it feels to go to school every day and have everyone talking about you behind your back.”
“Are you kidding?Everyonetalks about me behind my back.”
“It’s not the same!” Farshid shouts. “They’re doing it becauseof what youdid, not who youare. You don’t have to be afraid, you don’t have to wonder if people know you’re—”
