“God, Colin,” Alex whispered. “What happened? That’s—that’s awful!”
Colin tilted his head toward Joshua. “He had a rough beginning too.” He glanced at his husband who nodded as ifgiving him permission to speak. “He was beaten and abused exactly like you were.”
Alex wheeled to look at Joshua, then swiped a hand across his face.
“It’s like this, Alex. The kind of love it takes to parent a child … that love iseverything. It consumes you. It takes up every bit of your heart, and itshouldbecause that’s what a child deserves! I have that kind of love to give …” he nodded toward Joshua. “But only to him.”
Joshua drew in a breath. “AndIhave that kind of love to give …”
“But only to him,” Alex whispered, nodding toward Colin.
Joshua nodded.
“We’re just not emotionally set up to be fathers—either of us,” Colin said. He shook his head. “We decided a long time ago that we won’t shortchange a child by giving themhalfof what they deserve because we’re not equipped to give themallthat they deserve!” He shrugged. “Our focus is on each other, because that’s the way we want it to be—needit to be.” He gave Alex a slow smile. “But be yourfriend? Hell, yes! And Alex, please believe me. I’d make areallygreat best friend,” Colin told him. “But, kid. I’d make a totallyshittyfather.”
“I don’t need a best friend,” Alex mumbled, still wiping tears from his cheeks. “I need a family.”
“You ever watchSupernatural?” Colin asked suddenly.
Alex looked at him in surprise. “Yeah. All the time.”
“Then you should know …family don’t end with blood.We’llbefamily, Alex. Just a differentkindof family.”
Alex looked up at him, and Joshua saw his whole body relax.
“You’ve seen how we are with Trent and Jeff? David and Nate?”
Alex nodded.
“Welovethose guys! They’re ourfriends! They’re a huge part of our lives. As close as any family … or damn near.”
“Alex,” Joshua said, reaching to take his other wrist. “We want you in our lives that exact same way. Saying we can’t foster you doesnotmean we want to say goodbye. We don’t.”
Alex lowered his head. “I guess maybe Iamtoo much.”
“You’renottoo much,” Joshua insisted. “You were just in the wrong place for too long. Alex, please. Be our friend. You could … come and visit us!”
“Play catch with me in our backyard!” Colin blurted out. He used his hold on Alex’s hand to draw him closer.
“Go to David’s cabin with us,” Joshua added.
“We have movie night with Trent, Jeff, and Sophie, and we’d love it if you’d be part of that,” Colin told him.
“I’d even order pizza with pineapple on it!” Joshua added.
Colin shuddered and made a fake gagging noise. “Ack!”
“Hey!” Joshua complained, giving Colin’s arm a fake punch.
Almost against his will, Alex allowed a giggle to escape.
Colin released his hand and leaned back. “This has been a tough conversation. For youandfor us.”
“I want you to think about everything we’ve said,” Joshua told him. “You’ve got our phone numbers, don’t you?”
Alex nodded. “Yeah. Sharon and Paul have them too.”
“Good. Give it a day or so to let everything we’ve said settle in your mind and heart. Then give us a call and tell us what you’ve decided.” He leaned toward Alex, meeting his eyes. “We can’t give you what you want, Alex. But we will give you everything we can.”
