“Well, it was hurtful, I’ll say that.”
“I’m sorry, Colin,” he murmured. He blew out a long breath and bowed his head.
“Truth to tell, I’m also a little hurt that you’re notproudof me for what I did today.”
Joshua’s head shot up. He jerked away and threw Colin a dagger glance.
“That’s right!” Colin said. “Proud!”
“That might be abitmuch to hope for right this second,” Joshua countered, then before Colin could react further, he raised both hands. “Stop! We need to stop for a second. We’re starting to get agitated. No good can come from that.”
“I understand why you feel the way you do. It’s just that, at a moment like that, what you’re feeling doesn’t matter.”
“Gee!Thanks!”
“You’re not understanding me. I’m not disallowing your feelings. I’m saying in a deadly force situation, there’s notimefor worrying about who might get pissy. It’sovertoo damned fast!”
“Then this whole discussion is pointless.”
“Pretty much.”
“Peachy.” Joshua got to his feet. “Maybe we should put a pin in this for now and go for that drive.”
“You’re still pissed at me.”
“And yet again, I amnotangry. I’d rather be angry. What Iamis hurt and disappointed.”
“Disappointed.” Colin coughed out a frustrated sigh and got to his feet. “Well, if I ever heard a word that is the exact opposite of proud,that’d be it: disappointed.” He waved Joshua toward the door. “Go on. I’ll be there in a second. Would you please tell them that we’re leaving for the park soon?” He heaved out another sigh and leaned against the porch pillar, overcome by a sudden wave of dizziness.
“Colin, I…”
“Let it go, Josh. We’re done talking for now.” He shot a glance at his husband. “At least I am.”
As Joshua walked away, Colin bowed his head and drew in a deep breath. His head throbbed with a punishing headache, and the ringing in his ears was deafening, a result of being only an inch away when the pistol discharged. “Dammit,” he muttered, then gripped the porch pillar, trying to steady his shaking hands. “He’sdisappointed,” Colin whispered, feeling his eyes burn with tears. The stresses of this morning’s incident had left him shaken and queasy, and Joshua’s disapproval expanded the sickness inside him tenfold. “He doesn’tunderstand.”
The moment Joshua entered the living room, Nate was at his side. “You guys, OK?”
“Not really. He’s mad at me because I’m not proud of him for what he did today. And, frankly, at the moment, I’m finding that a bit of a stretch.”
David got to his feet. “OK. Where is he? I’ve had enough of this.”
“On the porch.”
David stalked to the front door and opened it. “Colin, get your ass in here! I have something to say.”
Colin moved past him into the living room, shooting David a curious look. “OK, Professor. Have at it.”
David moved to Joshua’s side and pointed at Colin. “HEsaw a dangerous situation that threatened the lives of the people he loves, and he acted accordingly. He behavedexactlylike the strong, protective man you constantly tell us you love. He didn’t doone damn thingtoday that wasn’t totally in character for Colin.” He turned to Colin and pointed at Joshua. “Hesaw the man he loves race toward a life-threatening situation and felt exactly what he wassupposedto feel. He reacted exactly like the caring, over-anxious, loving person you constantly tell us that you LOVE! He reacted likeJoshua!”
He raised his hands to the ceiling. “So, what is your problem? Everyone’s doing the best they can to cope with aterrifyingsituation. So why are you beating each other up? You both need to show a little understanding and compassion instead of being so goddamn self-involved!”
Nate burst into laughter and fell onto the couch, holding his sides. “Oh my god, David, I love you so much!”
“Only person in the room making any sense,” Aileen muttered, then lifted the teapot. “Tea, Joshua?”
“Yes, thank you, Anh-tee.” He took the teacup from her hand and then stood, staring at David in complete silence.
“What!” David asked him, clearly annoyed.
