Eleanor’s breath shook as she finally pulled a keychain out of her pocket, the jingling of the metal oddly jarring in the thick tension between them. But then she hesitated.
“I came here to apologize to you.”
When she didn’t drop the keys into his outstretched hand, Theo grimaced and rubbed his eyes, turning on one heel as he began to pace, limping and strained. He couldn’t seem to stay still, and he covered his face completely with both hands while he moved.
His mother looked like she still wanted to touch him. She took one step forward, her hand lifted.
“Teddy—”
“DON’T CALL ME THAT!” he roared, spinning to face her again. “Youof all people don’t get to call me that anymore!” His expression twisted in disgust. “That version of your son is dead and buried, his body cold and rotting in the ground with Dad. Your Teddydiedthat day.”
He looked like he hated himself as soon as the words escaped his lips. But now that they were freed, it seemed as if he couldn’t stop them.
Once the dam had cracked, a flood poured forth.
Theo pointed bitterly up at the scar on his face. “Thisis all that’s left of him now,” he rasped. “I’m a monster.A simulacrum. I’m scraps of broken flesh and sinew and bone barely stitched together into a mass of scars and pain and anguish, a fuckingshadowof the man and the artist I used to be. And you didn’t even have the decency to let me try to heal all the way before you came over here to reopen thisgoddamn wound.” He tugged at his split cheek, desperate and resentful, and winced at the feeling of it. “Do you even have any idea how much I hurt? All the time, every fucking day?!”
Eleanor sobbed once, but before she could fully break, Theo stormed back over to her, face red and finger pointed accusingly. Hewas so tall, he loomed threateningly over her, and he almost had to crouch to press his face close to hers.
With every sentence he uttered, with every breath he took, his voice rose.
“This whole time, thiswhole fucking time, you haven’t been respecting my wishes. You still kept trying to get in touch with me, kept trying to talk to me, kept sending your assistant to talk to Imogen, and now you’ve had the audacity to come here? To my own home?”
“I’m sorry, Theo, I—”
But he cut her off with a scoff and shook his head as he turned away from his mother, the disgust written across his face only deepening. “No. No, you couldn’t leave well enough alone, even when I said no more than once because I just wanted some goddamn peace in my life for onefuckingmoment, all right?” He splayed his hands out in front of him. “I just wanted to be left alone, without expectations, without having to deal with all of our family’sshitand you couldn’t even do that! And now,today of all fucking days, you dare to interruptmyweekend withmygirlfriend becauseyouwant to talk.” He threw up his hands and ran them through his hair. “IT’S ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT YOU.”
A tear streamed down his mother’s cheek.
“IT HASNEVERBEEN ABOUT ME!” Theo’s face reddened as he yelled.
She made no move to wipe it away.
He kept pacing, his limp growing more and more pronounced as he became even more agitated.
“Do you even get it, Mom? No. No, you’ve never gotten it, not really.” He took another step forward. Eleanor held her ground, but she looked so sick, Audrey thought the woman might throw up. Frankly, she felt nauseous herself.
This was something she wasn’t meant to see.
But Theo continued. His control had long since snapped, his eyes clouded and unfocused as he spiraled.
“It’s always been about you and your career, it was never about me or mine, or even Dad’s! He wasnevergood enough for you!”
“Theo, that’s not at all what happened,” Eleanor finally managed to interject, her voice an odd, trembling timbre cutting through her son’s. “That’s not at all true.”
But he wasn’t done yet.
“You certainly didn’t love him enough to eventryto stay,” he spat. “He died loving you,stillloving you even after all those years, after you threw him away like garbage, and I never even saw you shed a tear when he was gone.”
“Do you really think I didn’t love your father? That I don’tstilllove him?” Another tear slid down Eleanor’s horrified face when she bit out the words. “Is that what you really think?”
“That’s what I think and that’s what I remember, yes. You didn’t bat an eye at his memorial.”
Eleanor swallowed and drew in a deep, shuddering breath. A sob wracked her chest, and tears flowed freely from her eyes now. “Theo.” She held her hands out in front of her, pleading. “I never stopped loving your father. If you think I’m not also grieving, you couldn’t be more wrong.” She lifted a perfectly manicured hand and wiped away her tears, but it did little good. They wouldn’t seem to stop coming now. “And I’m sorry for giving you the impression I didn’t care. I loved Henry. I loved himsomuch, we just weren’t good partners. Our divorce had nothing to do with a lack of love. And it had nothing to do with you.”
Theo had frozen in his tracks, tears streaming silently down his own cheeks. He didn’t seem to notice them.
His mother took a cautious step toward him. “And it’s not your fault, what happened that day. It’s mine.”
