“My deepest condolences to you and your blue balls.” Diego’s definition of a dry spell was something like three weeks. For Theo, it was already more than five years.
Now it would likely be even longer, if not permanent.
Who would want to have to deal with all this? Who would ever want to look at his face?
He couldn’t even look athimself.
“Thanks. We appreciate it. But can you at least do me a favor?” Diego began replacing the padding over the gash. “You know my best friend, right? You remember him? His name’s Teddy. Real tall, dark hair, has a big nose and huge ears. Does art. Might have a new scar or two on his face, but I hear chicks dig that sort of thing.” He carefully wound the gauze around Theo’s head. “If you see him around, can you tell him to come back? It’s been a while since I’ve seen him, and I’m real lonely without him.” When Diego tucked thetail of the long, cotton strip back where it belonged, he finally looked Theo in the eyes fully—and his lip quivered. He rubbed his eyes angrily and glanced away. “Will you do that for me? I miss him. A lot.”
Theo rolled his lips together. If he hadn’t locked his mouth shut tightly, he wasn’t sure what might have broken through the dam he’d been so desperately trying to construct in his chest over the last several weeks. But he finally managed a nod.
“Yeah. If I find him, I’ll tell him.”
It was a lie. Theo was fairly certain Diego’s best friend recently died in a horrific car accident.
He was dead and buried in the ground next to his father, Henry.
But it didn’t feel like the right time to tell him that.
He didn’t have the heart.
Without warning, Diego’s hand shot up to Theo’s hair and roughly yanked his face toward him so that they were almost nose to nose. Theo stared at him in shock, one eye wide.
“And by the way,” Diego growled through his teeth. His grip was like iron and he pointed at Theo accusingly. “Don’t youdareleave me. You think I can’t see you thinking about it? I’m not an idiot.” He shook him for emphasis. “If you follow through on anything you’re contemplating, just know that I’ll find a way to raise you from the dead so I can kill you again myself, so help me God. Do you understand me?” His grip tightened on Theo’s scalp. “Do you understand me, Theodore?”
Theo’s throat bobbed as he swallowed and nodded slowly. “Yeah. Duly noted.”
“Great, thanks. Appreciate it.” Diego let go of him, and he sniffed and wiped at his eyes before patting Theo hard on the shoulder. “All patched up. Get dressed and let’s go downstairs, I’ve got tacos from Tío in the oven—he sent your favorites. What movie are we watching tonight?”
It was oneyear, nine months, and one week ago that Theo set foot inside a café for the first time. Diego had come over two days prior for July Fourth and nearly passed out from shock when Theo told him that he was actually going to go out in public.
Things couldn’t get much worse than they already were.
He might as well try.
They were grilling steaks on Theo’s rooftop when he brought it up, and Diego immediately insisted on helping him find just the right coffee venue.
“Bean Me Up, Brewtiful Morning, Jurassic Perk, Roaster Coaster,” he muttered, rattling off café names from some listicle. “Oh, hey, how about this one—you’re a huge Star Wars nerd, right? This place just opened.”
Theo leaned over and squinted at Diego’s phone. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. A themed café called Java the Hutt? How does that even make sense?”
“It’s ajavahut—just look at the photos. A riff on a coffeehouse. Get it?”
Theo shook his head. “Absolutely not. Way too kitschy. Look at that décor—I bet their coffee is shit.”
The photos were insane. Every bit of wall space was covered in Star Wars memorabilia and mixed with flashing lights probably meant to look like stars or laser cannon bolts. They barely had room for a counter and a few tables. High reviews, though—but mostly from really nerdy usernames commenting on the ambiance and fighting about Star Wars fan theories among one another. No one mentioned the drinks. None of those usernames or profile photos looked remotely like they belonged to a woman.
“It’s all about the gimmick and nothing about the craft. And I don’t think I’m a fan of that kind of clientele—they probably allhated the cinematic masterpiece that wasThe Last Jedi.Absolutely not.”
“Fine. Ruin my fun.” Diego scrolled down the list. “Is this one lesspedestrian? More your usual kind of nerdy? It’s a literary reference. You read.” He tapped the name a few down from the first and opened up the website. “Surely it’s bougie enough for you, you fucking hipster.”
“Javawocky?” He reeled back in disgust. “Who thehellis coming up with these café names?!”
In the end, Theo settled for a normal-sounding coffeehouse called Uncommon Grounds that was highly reviewed and only a five-minute walk from his house. He still wanted to pass out when he thought about going, but Diego pointed out that he could wear a mask. He had a box of black KN95s on his counter, and Diego grabbed one from it.
“Here, put this on.” He shoved it into Theo’s hands. “And let’s see…your hair’s grown out a lot, so we can work with that. Hand me that cap, let me work some magic.” Theo bent down and Diego helped arrange his hair over his right eye. He pulled up his hoodie and pointed him toward the bathroom. “Now go look at yourself in the mirror.”
Theo’s eyes flicked over to it. He’d pinned a few towels above it to cover the reflective surface there and in every bathroom after he made the mistake of facing himself a week prior, and the idea of sweeping one aside wasn’t particularly enticing.
