If I crashed and shattered—fine. I wasn’t about to hurt Yun, refused to cause any pain to the men who were more than family to me, the ones who had shared so much of my life. Whatever happened to me was fine. I accepted it.
Something warm slipped around me, and it took a moment to figure out what it was.
Yun’s guiding. It offered comfort, strength, something to hold tight to, to keep me together, to keep those splintering pieces of my psyche from exploding out.Sheheld me together, gave me the chance to reform my mind, to prevent it from losing all cohesion.
So I took a deep breath, then whispered, “I’m free,” to Carter. “Finish this.”
He didn’t need any more direction, because a breath later, Carter had Mr. Yorn by the throat, pinned to the back wall. Ingram hadn’t remained still, either, easily taking down the esper who had held Yun.
“You can’t kill me,” Mr. Yorn forced out, his voice no longer full of the confidence I’d always heard from him. It might have been the first time he’d ever truly lost.
“Oh, I’m pretty damn sure Ican,”Carter argued. “Snapping your neck wouldn’t take more than a twitch of my hand.”
“Shear might not be fully under my control, but you have no idea what my death might do to him. Besides, you all killing me would look pretty bad on you. If you get thrown into confinement, what would that mean for your precious guide?”
Carter didn’t snap his neck, which meant the esper was still considering it. “After all your bullshit, we can’t just let you go, either. You haven’t exactly proven yourself trustworthy.”
“I do all this for my work, for the betterment of humanity. I can hardly continue that if I’m dead. I admit you’ve won this, so perhaps we should retreat to our own corners.”
Carter loosened his grip, but even with my mind as frazzled as it felt, I knew the only right choice.
We had to do that. Mr. Yorn still held too much power, and his death would cause far more problems than it would solve.
Carter released him, and the sight of Mr. Yorn falling to his knees soothed so many wounds of mine. To see him not appear powerful, not the horror from my own nightmares, it helped to remind me he wasn’t as strong as he’d always pretended.
“Fine. We’ll call it a truce for now,” Carter said, his tone still uncaring and cheery. “If you try to get anywhere near any of us again, though…”
“Understood.” Mr. Yorn got up, using the wall for balance.
That didn’t feel like enough, though, so I forced myself to stare Mr. Yorn right in the eyes. I wanted him to see how serious I was, to understand just how deeply I meant the next words I would say. “If you ever threaten or riskanyof my squad again, I will show you no mercy. I don’t care what it does to my psyche, I will dismantle every neuron in your head.”
Mr. Yorn swallowed and nodded, unable to hide the fear that danced in his eyes. He might want to show a strong front, but I saw the cracks, now.
The esper that Ingram had knocked backward stumbled to his feet as well, appearing thrown by the exchange. Then again, if he were one of Mr. Yorn’s pets from Obsidian, he likely had little experience with the outside world.
Part of me pitied him, wishing I could undo his shackles as well. However, if I had learned anything today, it was that only the person themselves could break such ties. No one else could do it for them.
My gaze found Yun’s again.
Though I did have a bit of help.
Chapter Forty-Six
Yun
Things could change so quickly. In my life, it had always been for the worse.
I’d gone from having loving parents to being an orphan. I’d gone from a normal human teenager to a guide. Every time things shifted, it had left me in a worse position.
However, for the first time, I realized things could shift quickly in the opposite direction.
I sat on the couch back at our place—Carter had let Kaidan know I was fine—with my squad around me.
And I actuallyfeltlike they were my squad.
“You should have told us,” Carter said, his happy expression gone. Most people would probably assume seeing him like that was a bad thing, that his smile was reserved for those he cared about.
I knew the truth, though—he smiled for everyone to hide his true feelings. By showing me his anger, he let me closer than he let most.
