I’d acted like a fool, exposing just how much they meant to me. I hadn’t even fully accepted it myself, but there was no other reasonable explanation for my entire meltdown just now, was there?
“You get it now?” Carter asked, his lips sliding in a lop-sided grin, the one that felt more real than what he usually wore. It felt like the smile he saved for me, the one that conveyed actual amusement instead of the threat and broken glass he threw at others.
“You don’t need to look so pleased with yourself,” I said. “I could have fried your brain just now. Don’t you realize how dangerous that was?”
He didn’t appear all that chastised. If anything, he seemed pleased. “You worry too much. Besides, the fact you didn’t do it, what do you think that means?”
“I don’t know.” I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling far too exposed.
“I think it means you actually like me—quite a bit. Otherwise, you could have done what you did to those others. In fact, if I recall correctly, you said we should have made you fall—” He paused, then cocked up an eyebrow, his expression downright giddy.
And weallknew where that statement had been headed, what I had planned to say with it.
The words still perched on my tongue, nearly having escaped.Shouldn’t have made me fall for you.
As much as I wanted to deny it, my little slip spoke the truth. I had fallen for them—fully. It went to show in how betrayed I’d felt, in me not killing Carter, and in the words I’d nearly said.
No matter how much I’d tried to avoid this, how much I’d told myself to keep my wits about me, I’d failed at the end of the day. I’d fallen for these espers, for thesemen,and I had no idea how to handle it.
I couldn’t trust them,didn’ttrust them, but that didn’t change my feelings.
I covered my face with my hands, trying to hide…well…everything. My burning cheeks, my embarrassment, all of it. I wanted to crawl into the smallest hole I could find and pretend the whole day had never happened.
Except of course these four wouldn’t let that happen.
The television turned on, the sound of a movie echoing in the living room space. “Oh, it’s a romance!” Kenyon’s voice was cheery as ever, as though the entire fight hadn’t just happened.
“I went out of my way and got the kitchen to put together a lasagne.” Carter sounded unbearably pleased with himself, like he’d just returned from war rather than the truth—that he probably threatened the staff into making a meal for him. “It’s in the oven. Thirty minutes and we’ll be eating.”
“I like lasagne,” Ingram said, the world shifting around me before I realized he’d picked me up to carry me to the couch.
Seemed as if the overbearing bastard didn’t plan to let me avoid the movie and hide away.
Shear said nothing—he rarely did—and instead simply went to sit in the chair in the living room, his usual spot. Ingram didn’t let go of me before he plopped down, keeping me in his lap. Kenyon went around shutting all the blinds while the oven beeped as Carter got dinner going.
We all sat there, the scent of melted cheese and vodka sauce filling the place. They didn’t ask me any questions, didn’t press me anymore, but the actions alone told me that Carter had probably been telling the truth.
Plus, sitting next to them, I could sense the corruption levels, and they were too high for any of them to have gotten guiding from anyone else.
“Pay attention to the movie,” Ingram whispered into my ear.
“I am.”
“Nah, you’re thinking.” He set a hand on my thigh and moved it up, inching toward the inside. “I mean, if you’re not into the movie, we could probably pass the time in other ways…”
I shook my head in a quick jerk and plastered my gaze to the screen.
He chuckled but removed his hand, leaving us to settle in for the cheesy movie and delicious food.
It made me think that this whole falling for someone thing might not be so bad.
If only life ever stayed this calm…
Chapter Twenty-Five
Shear
The nightmare hit Yun so hard that a pain echoed through my own head. It was as though her own psyche resisted my attempt to help, to calm her.
