“I know about that,” I bit out, hating that I didn’t. I’d known a little, but the details? Nothing. I didn’t care for hearing about them from someone else, especially Little Miss Perfect.
She kept speaking as though I hadn’t interrupted. She looked off toward the horizon as she went on. “You’ve guided them. I know you don’t like doing it, but from what I’ve heard, you’ve fully guided them. You should know what I mean when I say they aren’t right.”
“I have no idea what you mean.”
But…I did. I knew exactly what she meant. Each of the men was broken in their own ways, in places I’d glimpsed but never seen the depth or width of. I had a feeling they hid it from me, maybe more than they did anyone else.
“Kenyon is the easiest. He’s sweet enough, but he feels like there is always this wall around him, like he never lets his guard down. Shear has powers that no one should have. It’s like he crawls into your skull the moment you lock eyes with him. Worse, even when guiding him, it was like he didn’t have a single emotion, nothing, just a flat exterior. Then there’s Ingram, and the moment I started to guide him, it felt like a black hole, like there was nothing inside of him. I swear, it felt like I would get sucked into that abyss.” She shuddered, wrapping the arm not holding her coffee around herself like a hug. “And then there’s Carter. He’s the worst, but I didn’t realize it. I thought that he seemed nice enough. Maybe a coward, sure, maybe he didn’t work that hard, but he was friendly and polite. The thing is, you can’t hide that much, not when you’re being guided, and that mask of his slipped. It was just for a second, but I saw what he hides, what he doesn’t let anyone see. I’veneverseen an esper that close to corruption. I didn’t even guide him fully before I fled, sure that he’d rampage in the next few minutes. Then that turned to hours, to days, to weeks. Every day I thought I’d hear news that he’d turned, but it never happened.”
“Maybe you misread him?”
She shook her head. “No. Even now, if I get close to him, I can still feel that. He lives his life on that edge, so close to disaster that I can’t believe he hasn’t fallen off. I can only assume he’s broken, some sort of monster. That’s why I was terrified for you when I heard you were assigned there, because I didn’t want to see you hurt. A full-fledged S-Rank guide couldn’t do anything for that squad, so what did they think you were going to do?”
Her words chafed, even if I knew I was defective.
She must have realized what her statement implied, because she quickly added on, “I don’t mean that against you. I just mean that with your restrictions, I don’t know how they thought you were a good fit.”
“They didn’t.”
“What?”
I smiled, even if I didn’t feel all that amused by the situation. “They didn’t think we were a good fit. I think they used it as a punishment to us both, just misfits who couldn’t do our jobs right. They figured we might as well spend our time punishing each other instead of bothering real espers or guides.” I hated the words, even more because they felt true.
It wasn’t just a last chance, it was a purposeful action because they viewed us all as worthless.
Which made it all the funnier that they were sniffing around me now, trying to win me over.
“Thanks for your worry,” I said. “But you don’t need to bother. For better or worse, I think we fit together in a weird way. I’m not planning on leaving them.”
“But the Guild will offer—”
“The Guild offered Obsidian—that’s it. They want to study me, not assign me to a new squad. They want me to be a lab rat.”
“Obsidian?” Mercy swallowed hard. “You saw Mr. Yorn?”
I nodded, recalled the man who I’d hated immediately.
Mercy grabbed my hand, my latte spilling from the rough movement. Thankfully, it had cooled enough that it didn’t hurt much, but the action was so unexpected from Mercy that even if it had been boiling, I doubted I would have noticed. Her nails bit into my forearm, so tight that they would leave marks.
I lifted my gaze to hers, ready to ask her what the hell she was doing, when her wide eyes stopped me.
“Stay with Reject Squad.”
“What? You were just saying—”
“I know what I said, but forget it. Do not let them send you to Obsidian. Staying with your squad is better—anything is better than that place.”
I didn’t get the chance to answer before she took off, her gait awkward and rough, nothing like the usually smooth way she normally glided around.
I looked down at my arm, droplets of blood leaking from the crescent-shaped wounds she’d left behind.
Well, that was unnerving…
Chapter Twenty-One
Shear
Yun moved around the small workout area with clumsy, slow motions.
