Ignoring my mom’s last statement, I got to the important part. “Ma, please don’t feed my baby any more pig feet. I keep telling you we don’t eat pork!”
That made her cackle. “That girl was tearing that thing up, baby! She was having a good time until you came in there ruining it.”
“I almost had to fight her to take it from her too. Just because she thinks something is good doesn't mean it’s good for her.”
“I hear you, baby, and I apologize. I saw somewhere online that I should respect your dietary restrictions, because interfering with them might hurt my baby girl’s stomach.”
“Thank you. I really appreciate that. I just want her to grow up to be healthy and strong.”
“You’re healthy and strong, and you grew up eating neck bones and potatoes with the rest of us.”
“Yeah, but I want better for Bella. I also had to make some changes to stay conscious of my health because I wanted to go to the academy. I had to lose twenty pounds to get in, remember. I’ve found all twenty and then some since I graduated. I’m just saying.”
“Now you’re making your daddy proud. I know he’s up in Heaven running around and telling everybody how his daughter is a police officer just like him.”
“I’m absolutely sure he is.” I laughed.
“Speaking of that job of yours, when are they gon’ let you come back, Jameela? Have you tried to talk to that lieutenant friend of yours? Kale or Hale? Whatever his name is.”
“Yes, Ma. Lieutenant Hale is the one who’s been blocking me from coming back. He doesn’t think I’m ready.”
“They’re only doing this because you’re a woman. No matter how tough you are and how many cases you close, they still see you as weak. If it was a man who got stabbed, he would had been back on the beat before the bandages were removed. I know your daddy never let them put him on leave. Now, because you’re a woman, they want to find any and every reason they can to sit you down. They gave you hell when you wanted to come back from medical leave after you had Bella, now this.”
“I don’t know when I can go back to active duty. They’re still giving me the runaround. In the last meeting, Lieutenant Hale mentioned having me work remotely for a while so I can stay home with Bella for a while longer.”
“How long do they expect you to work remote?”
“I don’t know, Ma. I hate to even think about it, but I need the money. Those leave checks aren’t doing what I need them to do.”
I had been receiving payments from my long-term disability insurance, which only came out to 60 percent of my regular income. I hated to complain to my mom about money because I knew she would try to help. I couldn’t go through life depending on my mom or anyone else. This was something I had to figure out on my own.
“Do you need some money? I got a little extra.”
I sighed, preparing for the lies I would have to tell to comfort my mom.
“No, I’m fine. I’m just saying that I know I have to do something. Lieutenant Hale might be right. Working from homewouldallow me to stay home with Bella and not have to shell outso much money for day care. I just don’t like the idea of having to sit around the house all day. That’s not what I signed up for.”
“It ain’t up to Lieutenant whoever to make you a stay-at-home mom. You might have to go over his head.”
“Tell me about it,” I mumbled.
Technically, it wasn’t up to Lieutenant Tremaine Hale to decide that I should be a stay-at-home mom, but hewasBella’s father. In his eyes, he had every right to make that decision. Being the mother of his child was actually the reason that he benched me after I was stabbed. Lieutenant Hale didn’t even want me to return to the force after I had Bella in the first place. I protested enough to get him to relent, only to be stabbed months later.
Now, I was stuck at home behind a bunch of loopholes and extensions on my leave that wouldn’t be lifted until he deemed me competent to return to duty. Hale suggested that I needed to seek counseling for PTSD and be cleared for duty by a board sanctioned psychiatrist before my return, one of his choosing, of course.
I had already gone through extensive physical therapy and defensive tactics training. No matter what, Tremaine Hale found a new reason to block me from going back to work at every turn. At this point, I was ready to put in for a transfer and hope for the best. I refused to give up so easily though. I wasn’t letting him or anyone else run me out of the place my dad gave his life to defend.
Something my mom said took a second to register. Hale saw me as weak. He probably always had and always would. I didn’t give a damn what Tremaine thought as much as I cared about what he did. I wanted to get back to work and continue my journey of honoring my dad’s legacy. If I was being honest, the stabbing had taken more than a few pints of blood from me. It had stolen some of my fire.
If I were being completely honest, I had been disenchanted with my career since I returned from maternity leave. Getting stabbed opened my eyes to the reality that one day Bella could lose me to my beloved career. I lost my dad when I was sixteen to the same life I went and dedicated myself to. Maybe I had too much time on my hands these days, but I was starting to question everything I thought I wanted in life. That didn’t mean I would let somebody force me out.
“I just don’t like it, MeMe. I understand that lieutenant of yours thinks he’s being careful and all, but he don’t know everything. Why don’t he find somebody else’s business to mess around in?” my mom asked.
I rolled my eyes. I still wasn’t prepared to explain how a friend and coworker ended up being my boss and the father of my child in a matter of months. No one even knew that Tremaine was Bella’s dad, not even my mom.
“Humph, I don’t know, but I’ll be sure to ask him the next time I see him.”
“Don’t get no attitude with me, girl. You know I’m just worried about you.”
