“Oh yeah, yeah. She was tall and skinny. Looked a lot like Bekka, in fact. You know the other two are way more like their daddy, but Bekka is like Allison.”
Cam tilted his head. “Did you like her?”
Mark blinked. “I did. I really did. I don’t think that either one of them were unhappy.” Then Mark chewed his bottom lip. “I think they were being safe together in a small town, and I think at some point being safe together in a small town meant pregnant. Pregnant meant marrying, and then marrying meant more babies. But I think they loved each other very much.”
Cam desperately wanted to ask if Mark thought Mitch loved him more. He wasn’t going to because that thought was ugly and ridiculous and inappropriate, but God he wanted to.
He wanted to know he was the most loved, which was this awful selfish thought, but he guessed it was human. He didn’t know.
Mark glanced at him with knowing eyes. “I will tell you that Mitch is in love with you. Like, all the way hooked through the balls in love with you, and I think had you showed back up on a permanent basis when Allison was alive, well, I think that Allison would have worked really hard to try to convince you you were bi too. She was kind of a horn dog.”
He must have had a wild expression on his face because Mark cracked up.
“Oh…did I break you, Cam?”
Cam flipped Mark off, and dug into his food, waiting until Mark was relaxed before he shot off with, “You guys didn’t ever?—”
Mark’s eyes went wide. “Oh God, no, no.” He held out one hand, as if to warn Cam off. “No, no,no,I amqueer, like gold-star gay. Also me and Mitch—there’s nothing there. It’s like kissing the back of your own hand. That’s not why we’re friends. We’re friends because he’s one of the nicest guys I know and because we have a lot of fun and because we’re friends.No.”
“You relieve my mind,” Cam said. “I would never get that picture out of my head.”
Mark hooted. “Yeah, I hear you. There are things I don’t like to think about. Mitch doing anything like that is one of those things.”
“Okay, so you want to work on my trailer. That’s cool. Let me just check and make sure we don’t have to take that new mare anywhere. The vet should come here to see her, but sometimes you have to take them in. I know she’s been skittish. I’m worried about that sweet baby girl.” Copper Penny was doing pretty well, but she wasn’t interested in anybody putting a saddle on her. She wasn’t interested in doing anything but sitting in her stall and having her sweet feed and rest. He knew she needed to get out there and at least get on a long line and run around the corral, but he was in no condition to do it.
“Sarah’s been out there a couple of times to talk to her and Fire. Then that mare you got right before you left. They’re all doing pretty good. They haven’t threatened to bite each other at once.” Mark waved a hand at him. “Although, I am hardly an expert on horses.”
Cam snorted. “Shit, I’m not sure I am anymore. I sure didn’t have control of that situation when I went flying over her head.”
Now Mark gave him a hard look, the kind Mitch would have given him for saying something like that, which made him smile. “That was hardly your fault. Somebody threw a firework into the arena. You couldn’t have responded fast enough to keep her from bucking you off and from hurting herself.”
“Yeah, that’s true enough, but it doesn’t avoid the fact that I was on someone else’s horse and I let her go down. I have guilt.” Cam always had guilt when an animal he was in control of at the time, or even if he wasn’t, got hurt during the rodeo. It was an awful thing because the relationship they had with these working animals was a sacred one.
“You can have all the guilt you want. Just don’t let it eat away at you. Use it to make her well again.”
“You forgot to call me grasshopper or something like that,” Cam teased.
“I guess I did. And you probably don’t need me giving you advice.” Mark backed off, standing up, his cheeks red. “I’ll let you finish up your meal. You holler at me when you’re ready.”
“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you, and you don’t have to run off. Look, I’m bored out of my mind. If you want to hang out and talk with me, that sounds like a winning plan.” He grabbed the spoon and gave himself some more squash casserole. That stuff looked like shit, but it was his favorite.
Mark sank back down in his chair. “Cool. I kinda wanted to talk to somebody too. So, thanks for listening.”
Cam just nodded, which was getting easier every day, even if it did pull things. “You’re family, man; it’s no big deal.”
At that, Mark gave him a smile that made him blink because, my God, it was pretty, and grabbed a bite of his buttered bread, popping it into his mouth. Cam was learning that family wasn’t all people you were born to, and he thought Mark was learning that too, a little bit at a time.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“No, Daddy, I can’t do that. I can’t go to the Girl Scout thing today.”
Mitch blinked at Bekka, who was standing there with her hands on her skinny hips, looking at him just the way Allison used to do when she was incredibly frustrated. He blinked. “Why not? I thought you were looking forward to it.”
“Because Sarah has something for 4-H, and Rachel is going to spend the night at Emily’s house, and Cam has physical therapy today. You and Mark are going to work on a job, remember?” Her tone made his jaw firm up, and he bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from yelling, because there was a point to this, and he hoped she was going to get to it soon.
“I know all that. I can drop you off at Girl Scouts before I take Rachel off to her sleepover and before I go do that estimate with Mark.” Mitch’s even tone was hard-won.
“Somebody has to be here to let the therapist in,Daddy. Cam isn’t going to be able to get up and do it.”
