“When did everything get like this?”
“Hello, Becky? What? Like what?” Lenny interrupts like a rude ass.
“Shh, I’m talking. Like, I was in a solid work environment withcoworkers I enjoyed, and in a loving and happy relationship moving towards marriage. Now, I’m slugging my way through Taylor’s vapid poison, and going home to an empty house.” I think for a second. “Except for my dogs. Who Paige is going to let out, because I’m staying late. Again.”At least they’re amazing, and they’re at home. “I just…I miss my British murder show with tea and snuggles.”
But then, I think of my summer, and I remember how gut wrenching and painful it was. I think that a little loneliness beats lies, deceit, and betrayal any day of the week. Besides, I won’t be alone tonight. And honestly, a girls’ night full of snacks and trash talk sounds a hell of a lot better than waiting around for someone who doesn’t want to come home.
“Where are you right now? Don’t you have a special night planned or something?”
“I have a few struggling students, and with my useless TA, I’m putting extra time in after school making sure they’re getting what they need to be successful.”
“Gaw, I’m going to kill, or maim her.” Lenny woke up and chose violence today, unsurprisingly.
“The inaction against Taylor is really starting to piss me off. Especially because it’s impacting the students.” I lean over and grab the third broken pencil piece off the ground. “When I said I could handle having her in my classroom, I had no idea what I was agreeing to. Catty, territorial, bitchy, whatever, I have dealt with worse. But once she put the kids’ wellbeing in jeopardy, I started smashing my head against a wall.”
Not literally…yet.
“Meanwhile, I practically have a manifesto ready to get her the fuck out of here. I really need a meeting with the principal and some solid proof and backup.” I go to Taylor’s desk and my hand twitches, wanting to grab the newest damn flowers and throw them the fu—dge away. “Unfortunately, most of my documentation is suspect.”
Taylor’s desk is out of view of the door, and although she is a lazy ass with all of the other teachers, I’m the only one she’s downright disrespectful to. With her phone usage and so many of her lesserqualities not witnessed by anyone other than the students and me, it’s largely a matter of her word versus mine.
“I am at a stupid impasse. Because despite my years teaching, and despite working my ass off, I am still in the part of my teaching contract where they can simply not renew it. Without warning and without cause. I’ll look like a jealous ex if I say anything about the clearly targeted behavior.” The only option I have now is to document everything and vent to Lenny, Paige, Vicky, and now, maybe Sonya too.
I finish resetting the classroom then head back to my own desk to finish my lessons. At some point, my sister ends our call with a promise to bother me for updates. I agree, half listening, as I print my worksheets for the following day, complete the necessary prep for the activities planned, and head home.
My house comes into view, and my tired eyes notice something isdifferent, but I can’t focus beyond recognizing that truth. The yard is still a yard. The steps are still steps, andyep,there are still dogs here. I greet the pups and head to the bathroom to take a quick shower, listen to some music, and,shit.I run back into the kitchen and grab a glass of wine. Perfect.Thisshould help me get prepped for a night at Joe’s.
13
THE WOMEN’S WEDNESDAY
CARTER
“She’s working late again. Asked if I could swing by and let the dog out.” Paige says through the phone, and I thank her, but before I can ask another quick follow-up question likeIs she okay? Does she ask about me? Do you think she’s wanting to see anyone else?She hangs up.
Shit.
I learned through Trev that Paige has been asked to swing by a few days a week to let the dogs out, so Becks could work a bit longer after school. Apparently her new TA is dropping the ball, and she needs the time to make sure everything is set up just right. I’ve always admired her passion for her job. She won’t let someone else’s fuckups get in her way.
I’ve been helping where I can at home on those days—atherhome I mean.
A lot of what Becky said to me has sunk in since our talk a few weeks ago, and the new perspective is sobering. It fills me with so much shame.
I duck back under the hood of the car I’m currently working on, and think through everything for the one-thousandth time. Randy,our high school part-timer, hangs out next to me with all of my tools at the ready.
“I wasn’t trying to bein contactwith Taylor, but she still hadn’t paid me for that last week of bullshit, and I couldn’t stand the idea of losing everything for this arrangement just to not even get what I was supposed to get from it, you know?”
“Yeah, sure thing.” He sounds distracted until I hold my hand out for my next tool, shake my head at what he hands me first, then grab the second offering.
“After that talk, though…” I trail off, recognizing he doesn’t need to hear this part, but my mind keeps running through it all in a loop.After those tears being held back. After I finally realized the pain I caused because of this stupid fucking deal I had with Taylor, the money I earned now seems dirty.
An escort.
It all makes mefeeldirty. While I was under her car, changing the oil, I decided to stop trying to get paid for that final day. I also realized I don’t like seeing that extra money in my account. It no longer makes me feel closer to my goals.
Another tool swap, Randy getting it right the first time.
I work quietly for a few minutes when I realize something uncomfortable about myself. I can admit with time and distance, it was,nice,having a moment in the middle of my busy day to have someone there to listen to my bitching, to soothe my stressing, to take care of my needs. I grunt while I try to reach a tricky bolt, still considering what I’ve done. “She wasso easily helpedwithout a ton of effort on my part. All I had to do was drive or lift something heavy, and she made me feel useful, like a hero.” I got a mid-day positive boost fairly regularly from my drives and chats with Taylor. I lean out again and see Randy avoiding eye contact.Hell, how much did I say out loud.
