‘How can she have been so stupid?’ Daniel yelled.
Iris asked herself that same question many times a day.
‘Hey! That’s not fair! She didn’t know Joshua was going to disseminate the video. You should be asking why he shared something private with the whole school, not why my daughter shared an intimate video with her boyfriend.’
‘It’s not just with the school, though, is it? I received it via a messaging app from a concerned co-worker. Everyone at work knows about it. It’s all over social media, too. It has racked up thousands of views, apparently. It’s so embarrassing, Carla.’
Iris’s stomach flipped. Thousands of views? The video had gone viral. Everyone she knew must have watched it. As well as a whole load of people she didn’t know. She cringed with mortification.
‘If your bloody co-worker had truly been concerned, they might have told you about it, but they certainly wouldn’t have sent it to you,’ Mum hissed. ‘What they did was illegal.’
‘And what Iris did wasn’t?’
‘For fuck’s sake, Daniel! Iris has done nothing wrong. It’s not about what she did. It’s about what happened to her!’
Did Mum really believe that? Iris couldn’t be sure. Her mum always stuck up for her and Olly when Daniel criticized them for something. Iris hardly ever heard her swear, though. And certainly not the F-word. Daniel and Mum were probably arguing about this a lot – the same argument, or variants of it, over and over again – just being more discreet about it most of the time.
Iris spent as much time as possible at Dad’s. He was really supportive and he didn’t judge her or give her the impression her stupidity had impacted his life, too. At Mayflower Farm – Dad’s place – she didn’t have to listen to that dreadful opera singing Mum played all the time. And, more importantly, she didn’t have to feel Daniel’s judging eyes on her or look at him and wonder if he’d watched the video when his colleague sent it to him. But she was alone during the day, whereas at Crooked Oak Cottage, Mum worked from home, which provided a comforting presence.
Mum wanted her to go back to school after Christmas. Iris knew she’d have to face the music one day, but she wasn’t ready yet. And although she hoped things would calm down over the holidays, she wasn’t optimistic.
‘The longer you put it off, the harder it will be,’ Mum said.
She was probably right. Iris felt lonely, like a recluse, whether she stayed at Mum’s or Dad’s. She only went out for walks with Mum and for her sessions with Melanie. She’d become really isolated. Melanie was right, too. Josh hadn’t been motivated solely by revenge. Iris remembered how he’d cut her off from her friends when they’d been dating. He’d wanted her all to himself. Now he couldn’t have her. But he could still see to it that no one else could. He could make sure she wasostracized– another of Melanie’s words. Even though they’d split up ages ago, he was still able to degrade her. No, this wasn’t just about revenge. It was about control. Josh was still pulling the strings, still dictating her emotions.
It was like he could still read her thoughts after all this time, because just when she was thinking this, he sent her a text. She’d blocked his number, like, a month ago, but it came in anonymously, with a six-digit code instead of a contact number. No doubt about it, though – it was from Josh.
It wasn’t me. Someone must have got hold of the vid in my phone. Maybe they even sent it from my phone. I turned the page a long time ago and I have a new gf now. I don’t wish you any harm, only the best.
J x
For a split second, she almost believed him. Then she snapped round. She might have believed his lies when they were dating. But that was over. This denial, this refusal to take responsibility for what he’d done, was gaslighting.
Iris showed the text message to Dad.
‘“I don’t wish you any harm” my arse. He’s trying to cover all the bases, the little bastard,’ Dad commented. ‘PC Quinlan said we have to be able to prove not only that Josh disclosed the video, but also that he intended to cause the victim –you– distress.’
‘Yeah,’ Iris said.
‘Roly said the same thing. We can’t prosecute unless we can prove that intent to cause distress. Although he did say cybercrime wasn’t his domain,’ Dad added.
Iris wasn’t convinced this was cybercrime. She’d looked it up. Unless you considered her video to be child pornography. Whatever. Even if Ian wasn’t an expert on this, Iris knew Dad had been talking to him about what had happened. Not because Ian was a police officer, but because her dad needed his best friend’s advice.
But it was the first time anyone had mentioned the possibility ofprosecutingout loud to her. This was obviously why the police had told them to gather their own evidence, but the idea itself – the process of prosecuting Josh and everything that would entail – hadn’t really sunk in. She hadn’t thought it through until now. Iris couldn’t face her classmates; she could barely bring herself to utter two sentences in therapy. There was no way she could face up to a court case. Anyway, Josh would deny sharing the video, just as he’d denied it in his text. She wouldn’t stand a chance of winning. Iris just wanted it all to go away.
But maybe this would never completely go away.
Chapter 22
Carla
NOW
I’m sitting on the stool at the kitchen island at Jo’s. Ian is working late, on the murder investigation, so Jo and I are having a girlie Friday evening in. We’ve got the house to ourselves – Millie is with Iris at my place and Olly is at Liv’s. Margo, presumably, is with Daniel. I haven’t heard from him since he moved out last weekend.
Wine and a film. That’s the plan. To take our minds off things. God knows I need to think about something other than the mess my life has become and I’m grateful to Jo for the idea. I suspect one of the reasons Jo suggested it, though, is so she can show off her shiny new kitchen. I slowly scan the room, taking in all the unfamiliar details. I once knew Jo’s kitchen almost as well as my own, but now it’s unrecognizable. She and Ian had kitchen fitters in – neither of them is into DIY – and Jo couldn’t wait to show it off. I have to admit, it’s a massive improvement on the old one – with its brown cupboards and avocado green wall tiles, it always made me feel as if I’d time-travelled back to the Seventies. Now it’s had a make-over, the kitchen is white and glossy, the cupboards all have an opening mechanism, so you push rather than pull to open the doors, and the polished concrete floor completes the modern vibe.
Jo’s new kitchen is beautiful and I’m glad she’s happy with it, but I’m not jealous. Ash and I chose and fitted the kitchen at Crooked Oak Cottage. In fact, we did up the entire house. Margo’s bedroom was our last joint venture, though. We did that room up six years ago, when Daniel and I decided that he and Margo would move in. It’s a poky room, barely big enough to be a bedroom – I used to store all sorts of junk in it before its transformation. But Ash helped me make it into a lovely bedroom for Margo, despite the lack of space.
