“And marrying someone you can’t stand while secretly maintaining a five-year anonymous relationship is, what, exactly?”
“Don’t,” I warned.
He held up both hands. “Just asking for purposes of clarification.”
“I love Emma,” I said stubbornly. “I thought I did, anyway.”
He watched me carefully. “When did that change?”
“It hasn’t changed,” I snapped automatically, but when he just kept waiting me out instead of responding, I finally sighed. “It just got complicated, is all.”
“Because of Kate.”
“Yeah. Because of Kate.” I dragged a hand through my hair. “Because the thought of hurting Kate suddenly feels worse than losing something I’ve spent the last five years fucking building with someone else.”
His lips curved into something that looked like it wanted to become a smirk. “Interesting metric.”
“You’re enjoying this way too much.”
“I’m fascinated,” he corrected. “I never saw anything even remotely like this coming from you, bro. Me, maybe. But not you.”
I groaned, slumping back into the couch. “Do you want to know the worst part?”
“Oh, there’s a worst part. Fantastic.”
“I don’t even know her real name,” I muttered.
Will froze. “Excuse me?”
“She doesn’t know mine either,” I reminded him. “Except her real name could be Emma. I’ve never asked. I always just assumed it also came from her original username on the Discord after we moved over to email.”
“So let me get this straight, you’re engaged to one woman, who you just got bent out of shape over for kissing, while you’re also in love with another woman whose legal identity you do not know.”
“When you say it like that, it sounds weird.”
“There’s no other way to say it,” he burst out, grinning from ear to ear. “This is awesome, man. Seriously. Thank you.”
I exhaled harshly, rolling my head back to glare at the ceiling. “It never mattered. None of that stuff did. All this time, we’ve given each other space to just be ourselves and it’s incredible.”
“It’s not incredible anymore?”
I shook my head. “It matters now. Everything does. If I marry Kate?—”
“If?”
“When,” I corrected unconvincingly, but he let it slide this time. “WhenI marry Kate, I won’t even know who I’m leaving behind.”
He kept staring at me for another long beat, then gave a curt nod. “In that case, the answer is obvious.”
I groaned. “I hate when you do that.”
“You need to meet Emma.”
“I tried.”
“No,” he said, pointing at me. “You tried to run away with her. That’s not the same thing.”
I opened my mouth but then shut it when he kept talking. “If nothing else, you have to meet her so I’ll know how this shit show ends.”
