He lifted a hand to his mouth, dragging it down to his neck and kneading along the muscles there. He exhaled and dragged his gaze to meet mine. “Because, Arden,” he said, the exhaustion on his face a twisted, agonizing kindred spirit, “no one ever really leaves that house. It needs to burn, and Viktorneedsto burn with it.”
“Why?” I pushed him. “All your wealth—it must’ve taken years. Why go after Viktor now?”
He ran his hands over his thighs, his shoulders hunching as he closed his eyes a moment. Then he looked at me and smiled weakly. It was the most honest I’d seen him in all my time at the townhouse. “Six months. It’s all I’ve got left. Cancer, the fucker,” he said bitterly and gestured to the room. “Aren’t you glad I didn’t make you sign a prenup? All of this will soon be yours, Mrs. Creed.”
My chin trembled, my fingers shaking. “You’redying?” I whispered.
Alexander shrugged a shoulder and let go of a heavy, sad laugh. He met my eyes again, thereliefon his face crushing any of the hope I’d still carried thanks to him. “To the great escape,” he muttered. “May all the devils on earth burn.”
A deep sadness settled in. Of course he was dying. That was any Creed’s luck it seemed. “Do the others know?”
“No,” he said softly.
I swallowed. “Only six months? Can’t you do chemo or something—”
“Stage four, Arden,” he cut me off, folding his fingers together and leaning back against the headboard. “The only thing left is a miracle, and I think we both know miracles don’t exist unless we make them happen ourselves. Considering I’m not a god, no matter how much I might try to be for the Ravens, it’s simply not in the cards for me.”
I did know that, and I agreed with him. Honestly, if I’d been handed that diagnosis, I think a huge part of me would’ve felt relief too. A death date. Finally. I imagined there was some freedom in that. “I’m sorry,” I said.
Alexander glanced over at me. “Apologizing? We’ve come a long way since tying you to that chair.”
I snorted and we fell quiet for a moment. “It seemed like at dinner that you were finally going to explain the marriage, and what you expect from me beyond taking out Viktor and Halden.”I noted him in my bed, and my stomach dipped. “Is it…sex? Did you buy me because you’re dying and you wanted the full experience of marriage?”
Alexander looked scolded. “Hell no.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “We came from the same childhood, so I get it, okay? But that kind of shit gets to me. How would you feel if someone kept insinuating that you were Viktor?”
I’d hate it. “Sorry. This is just new. Buyers aren’t saviors. Ever.”
“I know,” he said, his throat working. “Iknow.” I watched his profile as he rubbed his arm, his expression dark. He was desperate as he brought his gaze back to mine. “Arden, when the time comes, this operation will be yours. I need you to understand me, to want this. You’re the only one who could take this over, lead it in the way it needs to be led.”
“What?” I said, my hands shaking. “What are you talking about?”
“That day Viktor had Buyers come and watch Creed run through the mock village and take out the captured—I was there. I watched you talk Thorne and Kane into performing their worst to save Rafe. Halden was fucking pissed. So were most of the Buyers. But me? I saw in youempathyand resourcefulness. You let yourself suffer to save the rest, when I’m not sure they would’ve done the same for you.”
“They would have,” I disagreed.
“In theory, maybe,” he said, wetting his lips and steamrolling forward, “but realistically the only one of you that held all the cards wasyou. You control Creed. They listen to you.”
“They respect me. There’s a difference,” I said. “Thorne, Kane, and Rafe can make their own decisions.”
“Sure,” Alexander said, the word sharp, “but tell me that decision wouldn’t be to save you. You are their heart and their glue, Arden. If it weren’t for you, do you really think those menwould’ve gone out of their way to protect one another? Hell no. They did so to prolong your life, your light, and in doing so, it prolonged theirs too. It’s an endless cycle that feeds into itself, and people like Haldenknowthat. He used you to get them in line.”
He was right. I knew that. I’d thought it myself a million times. I can’t count on both hands how many times I thought about killing myself just to free the rest of Creed.
“That’s me, Arden,” he said, some of his pain leaking through the words. “To Monty, Heath, Mickey, Matthias, and—I hope sooner rather than later—Florence. I’m their root, the thing that if they pull me out of the ground, they’ll all decay. So what do you think will happen when my cancer takes me?” he demanded, his chest heaving and his eyes dark. “They’re going tofall apartunless I have someone strong enough to pick up where I left off, someone who can grow as a new root in my place and help more and more assets flourish into what they’re meant to be—saviors, heroes, goddamnnormalordinary people.” He tugged my ring from his pocket and lifted it between us, shaking it a bit. “This is an insurance policy, to give you everything in my name and to take care of my family. You…you’re that person, Arden. When I die, my empire is yours.”
Looking at him then, I saw so much of myself in his eyes, the agony there a replica for the wounds festering inside me. Maybe it was some cruel aligning of fate that two kids from that same fucking estate were sitting in bed discussing a future as if either of us truly had one, but we were, and all the panic I felt receded into a calming clarity.
I was bright. I’d felt shame for it,hatedthat the light I felt inside me was constantly being used against me to hurt the people I loved. I let myself become Halden’s corpse because it was the easiest way to get through the day, but I was free. That chapter of my life was, thankfully, over. I couldn’t afford tobe hollowed out and cold. Creed didn’t need that. Alexander’s family didn’t need that. All of themneededthe girl who got Creed through—“Another fucking hell,” I muttered.
Alexander studied me curiously, waiting for me to explain.
“Creed,” I said, “we said that to each other, that we were surviving one hell and the next, that the moments we truly lived were in between hells.”
“You think I’m handing you another hell?” he asked, stricken.
I inhaled and steadied myself. “Any life where I am the thing that destroys those I love is hell, Alexander. A heart, glue, a light—call it whatever you want, but it feels like a curse. I’m not saying I don’t accept it, that that seems to be my purpose, but I’m acknowledging it sucks what you’re asking me to do. Enter hell. Again. Leave behind my training in being numb and deciding tofeelagain. The last time I did that, I losteverything.” My burned hand drifted over my stomach and I swallowed. “They raped me. Every day. To keep Creed in line—”
“Arden, I wouldnever—”
