Birdie stopped dead. Because Alexis was looking at her. Really looking and Birdie’s brain flatlined, causing the rest of the words she wanted to say to crumble into ash.
But then she remembered her train of thought and tried to salvage it by tossing out, “I just wanted you to know that. That I… that I think you’re…” She lost it again. The rest of the sentence slipped through her fingers like sand because, fuck, Alexis was gorgeous. And she wasn’t even doing anything. She wasn’t even making jokes. She was just standing there, looking at her. And Birdie, with her whole heart thrumming in her throat, couldn’t take it anymore.
So, she closed the gap between them in two steps and kissed her.
It wasn’t neat or planned. Birdie had never intended to kiss Alexis, or maybe she had. Either way, her lips landed too hard, and Alexis inhaled sharply in surprise. But then both of them angled their mouths until they fit together, until they molded, until it felt like the only possible thing to do was to keep kissing.
Birdie caught Alexis by the waist and tugged her closer, only half-aware that they were stumbling toward the bed until the backs of their knees hit the frame. They continued kissing as they sat. The mattress dipped under their weight. Birdie’s fingers skimmed over the fabric at Alexis’s hips, and she couldn’t quite believe that this was happening again.
And then Alexis moved. She swung a leg across Birdie’s lap until she was straddling her. The heat of her pressed in everywhere at once as her dress rode to her hips. She pressed her lips against Birdie’s again, and Birdie groaned against her mouth. Her tongue slid against Alexis’s, and every nerve lit up like a roaring bonfire. Alexis’s hands cupped Birdie’s cheeks and tilted her head back. She deepened the kiss even further, and Birdie thought she might combust.
Except, Birdie’s brain, in all its infinite, inconvenient glory, chose that exact moment to think of Alexis doing this with someone else. For a moment, she pictured Alexis doing this with the bachelorette from the previous season. And then, because her brain was clearly trying to sabotage everything, she remembered what Louise had said that first day about Alexis blackmailing Skye. And then she thoughtWhy the hell would anyone do that on national TV?
“Did you really blackmail her?” Birdie blurted into the kiss. The words slipped out before her brain had any chance to intercept. But then again, they were also muffled against Alexis’s mouth, so maybe she hadn’t heard them at all.
But then Alexis froze. Her lips stilled. Her hands went rigid against Birdie’s cheeks, and she pulled back just enough to look at her. “What the hell, Birdie?”
Birdie’s stomach clenched.Dammit. She couldn’t believe she had said that out loud. Except she had, and now Alexis was staring at her like she’d grown a second head.
“I didn’t mean—” Birdie stammered, heat rushing up her neck. “I have no idea why I asked that. I’m sorry.”
“I can’t believe this,” Alexis started, leaning back. And for one heart-stopping moment, Birdie thought she was about to stand up and leave. She couldn’t let that happen. Absolutely not.
And so, she curled her fingers tighter at Alexis’s hips and said, “I’m really sorry.”
“Why would you even bring it up?”
Birdie opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. What could she possibly say that wouldn’t ruin the moment completely? Not that Birdie had a chance to consider it because suddenly, footsteps moved fast down the hallway.
“Shit,” Birdie hissed. “Someone’s coming.” She slid her hands to Alexis’s hips and lifted her up off her lap. The heat between them disappeared so fast Birdie could’ve sworn she hadimagined it. She then jumped to her feet, grabbed Alexis’s hand, and tugged her across the room.
By the time the footsteps stopped, they had both slipped into the ensuite bathroom. Birdie shut the door as quietly as humanly possible and pressed her back flat against it.
“What the hell are—”
But Alexis’s words were cut off by the sound of the bedroom door opening and Bianca’s voice ringing across the room. “Birdie!” she called. “Are you in the bathroom?”
For a split second, she considered staying dead silent, just holding her breath until Bianca went away, but she knew Bianca would check the bathroom, and the lock on the door was way too loud and clunky to risk giving them away.
“Yes,” Birdie called back, turning her head to speak to the door. “I’m stuck on the toilet. My stomach isn’t agreeing with the shrimp tarts.”
“Umm… gross,” Bianca said. She paused and then added, “If you see Alexis, tell her Vivian is looking for her.”
“Will do!” Birdie called back.
“And crack a window, will you?”
A few short moments later, the bedroom door clicked shut again. Birdie waited for one second, two, five before she finally pushed herself away from the door and let out a breath.
And that was when she saw Alexis.
The bachelorette was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, her elbows braced on her thighs, her chin resting on her fists. The soft light from the ceiling caught the slope of her shoulders, and for the first time, Alexis looked so small and so sad that Birdie felt a pang in her chest.
“I don’t know why I did it,” Alexis said softly, not looking at her.
It took a moment for Birdie to catch up and to realize what Alexis was talking about.
“Looking back on it now, I can’t think of a single logical reason why I thought it was a good idea to do that to Skye,” she went on, staring unblinkingly at the bathroom tiles. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. I got caught up in the whole competition. I think I just wanted to…” she let out a breath, which fell into the room soft like a feather. “Win, I guess. I wanted to be better than everyone else. I didn’t want to go back to Portland a failure.”
