Fernando nudged him. “You don’t have to pretend to enjoy this. We can grab Emma, go inside, and play with Pudding.”
“I’m not pretending,” he said.
Fernando looked happily surprised. “Are you sure?”
“The military, which is kind of like my family,” Walker began carefully, “likes things tidy. Predictable. We don’t howl like Bigfoot, do cooking shows, or dress taxidermied squirrels.”
“That sets a low bar,” Fernando said, wincing.
“We also don’t laugh like this.” He gestured to Eddie, who had begun to make tinfoil hats. Walker couldn’t help but chuckle. “This is great. Your whole family, Wilsons included, because they for sure include you, are great.”
Fernando was quiet for a moment. “I always worried I’d scare someone off.”
Walker turned to him. “This? These people right here? They are perfect, Ferdie.”
“My uncle sure isn’t,” Fernando said softly so only Walker could hear.
“He isn’t part of this. You said we got to make our own family, right? Well, this is it. Right here.”
Fernando leaned his head on Walker’s shoulder. “Our family is this right here, huh? Not my parents or uncle, not the military. Just these weird people right here.”
Walker nodded. “And I love them. I love this.”
Fernando blinked. “You do?”
“I do.” Walker grinned. “The only thing missing is Beans and maybe Pug.”
“Definitely Beans andpossiblyPug.” Fernando laughed softly. “I love you, Walker.”
“I love you too.” He kissed the top of Fernando’s head.
Under a sky full of misidentified constellations and gentle chaos, he realized something simple. He wasn’t scared anymore, or worried, or doubtful. If not, when he left the military, he would flounder a bit as he searched for work and a new routine for his life. That was okay, though, because he had Fernando beside him and a whole lot of wonderful people around them.
Since he was going to build a life with Fernando, he suspected it would include Bigfoot hunts, cranberry harvesting, and maybe a cooking club. It would be here, in Hobson Hills, so they could keep an eye on Valentina’s crush and he could help Janelle pseudo-prank her family.
Fernando grabbed his hand and squeezed it. They leaned into one another and watched stars while the squirrel beside him judged them all.
Chapter 16
Two months later, Fernando stood in the bathroom and fought a panic attack. The bathroom light was too bright for six in the morning. He squinted at his reflection, hair tangled from sleep. The house was quiet, and Beans was still sleeping. Walker’s unit was deployed for training again, luckily, a much shorter one this time. He was set to return in another week.
The pregnancy test lay on the counter.
He had promised himself he wouldn’t look right away. Instead, he washed his hands. Breathed. Counted to thirty.
“That’s long enough.” He looked. Two pink lines.
For a moment, nothing happened. He was still Fernando. It was just that the world had tilted and forgotten to keep spinning. That’s all.
“No,” he whispered automatically, hoping the words could change something. He picked it up and turned it toward the light, hoping it would reveal a different answer. Nope. The lines were still there.
His chest tightened, and his stomach dropped, then fluttered. A baby. He sat down on the edge of the tub, knees suddenly giving out. His thoughts began racing ahead to thedoctor appointments, tiny clothes, his siblings’ faces,hisface. Oh God. His face.
Tears welled up without warning, and he pressed his hand to his mouth and let out a shaky breath. “I’m pregnant,” he said to the empty bathroom, giving the words a try.
The words made it suddenly very real. They hadn’t planned this. They were still figuring things out. Walker had another six months left in the military and had no idea what he would do afterward. Fernando had only just started the new school year. They were planning to move to Hobson Hills next summer. Fuck, he still sometimes felt like he was pretending to be an adult.
However, beneath the fear was something else. A warmth. A flicker of awe. His hand drifted to his stomach, still flat, still ordinary. Nothing had changed, but everything had changed. There was something there. The tiniest, faintest beginning of a life.
