That doesn’t ignite the feelings of jealousy it probably should, and I can’t quite figure out why. Just like the night I thought about them hooking up, all I feel is want. A dull, throbbing ache in my gut.
“But what about Parker?” I say softly. “What if they don’t feel the same way?”
The same horror and fear I feel flashes in Ben’s eyes. “I don’t know, but I think they do. I think they’re just afraid.”
Parker’s words about really wanting their hookup but being scared flash through my mind.
I’ve been burned before.
Their love painting felt like pain to them…
“I think someone hurt them,” I say softly.
Ben nods. “Me too.”
“So what do we do?” I ask, desperate for some way to prove to Parker that I won’t. I wouldn’t.
Ben takes a deep breath. “I think we show them they don’t have to be afraid.”
God, it feels like my heart is gonna crack right in two. From longing or from pain. I just can’t figure out which. “But how?”
“By showing up tonight for our sleepover. By being there. By proving ourselves.”
“What if it doesn’t work?” I whisper.
“Fuck,” Ben murmurs, voice shaky. His eyes find mine and hold. Then he’s brushing his thumb over my cheekbone. “Then it doesn’t work, but we have to try, right? Don’t you feel like we have to try?”
I’m nodding before he’s even done speaking. “I’m scared,” I admit softly.
Ben lets out a breathless laugh. “Me too. But I’m not gonna let that stop me.”
Me neither. Not this time.
Not if it means I get Ben and Parker.
“I won’t either.”
Ben exhales a shaky breath, then presses his lips to mine softly. It’s no more than a peck, but it still sets my heart ablaze.
“Last one,” he murmurs. “The next time I kiss you, Parker will be ours too.”
Chapter 14
Parker
Try again for love next time.
Those words have played on a loop in my mind since Landon said them. So simple. So fucking profound.
Now here I am, sitting in front of my canvas, paint staining my fingers, probably in my hair, and definitely on my thighs and shirt. But I feel lighter.
Placing my paintbrush on the palette balanced on my thigh, I stare at the canvas. An hour ago, my mind was a kaleidoscope. Waking up sandwiched between Ben and Landon was… exhilarating. And terrifying.
Try again for love next time.
I couldn’t get those words out of my mind. Now they’re out and staring back at me. A mix of pinks and purples and yellows swirled together in mindless ways. They shouldn’t work together at all. Nothing about them is cohesive. But somehow they do.
I’m still not sure it feels like love, but it doesn’t feel like pain. That has to meansomething,right?
