Is there anything in the world more beautiful than someone who’s passionate about things?
Ben seems just as enamored as I am, and I’m not sure how to navigate it. What do these feelings mean? And how do I deal with them? Sometimes I could swear that Parker is interested, but even if theyare,does it matter? Because I can’t deny that I really fucking like Ben…
“You guys don’t have to stay the whole night,” Parker says, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Huh?” I ask.
Parker waves a hand around. “Here. You don’t have to stay here the whole night. I have to stay until the exhibit closes, but that doesn’t mean you have to. If you want, you guys can come by tonight, and we can have another sleepover?”
I glance at Ben, and he raises an eyebrow. “Want to?”
Fuck. I very much do. “Yeah,” I say, nodding.
“Perfect,” Parker says. “I should be done by ten if you all wanna come by around ten thirty or so.”
“We’ll see you then, Cotton Candy,” Ben says, grinning as Parker rolls their eyes.
My stomach does a giddy little flip. Fuck, I don’t know what to do. I give Parker a little wave, which feels stupid given the feelings coursing through me. “See you in a bit,” I say softly, unable to stop my smile when Parker nods excitedly.
Ben and I walk out side by side and into the night air. As soon as we’ve cleared the door, Ben tugs me into the alley and pushes me against the wall. Without missing a beat, his knee slots between mine, and he drags me down to him with poised confidence.
The second our lips connect, a moan tears from my throat, and my body nearly combusts. God, kissing him is so good.
Remembering how good it felt to have his strong fingers tangled in my hair, I bring my hands up, sliding them into his. My fingers twist around the strands as he grinds his thigh against my hardening dick. “Wanted to do this all night,” he mumbles. “Especially when you talked Parker down like that. It was incredible.Youwere incredible.”
I gasp, and Ben takes full advantage, sliding his tongue past my parted lips. I kiss him back, frantic, almost desperate, but something’s not right. “Wait…” Ben pulls back. “Wait, wait, wait,” I say again, even though he’s already stopped.
My heart is beating in my cock, and I just need a second and a little space so I can get my head on right. Thankfully, Ben seems to know that because when I drop my hands, he takes a step back.
“We can’t do this,” I whisper, my heart clanging painfully in my chest.
“What?” Ben’s face scrunches in confusion. “Why? I—”
“I like Parker,” I blurt out, cutting him off.
He stares at me for a second, then hurt flashes across his face. “Oh. I guess I just thought you liked me too.”
“I do,” I rush to say, and when his face twists in confusion, I groan. “I do. But I—but you were right. Or maybe you weren’t, and now you are. Or I don’t know. I just… Fuck. Yes. I like you, but I—I also really like Parker. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know why I feel like this,” I whisper, and even I can hear the shame coloring my voice.
Ben watches me for a second, then steps closer, catching my chin between his fingers and thumb. He searches my eyes, but I can’t make out his expression. “You don’t want to kiss me because you like Parker?” he finally asks after what feels like a lifetime.
I nod. “Yeah, I guess? It doesn’t seem fair. Like to you.” Or to Parker, either, really.
Ben nods. “Okay…” He bites at his bottom lip. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, anything,” I say, nodding rapidly.
“Who said you couldn’t like me and Parker both?”
I open my mouth, then close it. That’s the rule, right? You get one person. One. That’s it. And sometimes not even that. You don’t get two. You don’t get to wanttwo.
But I do.
God, I really do.
“It’s not fair,” I repeat. “I don’t get to just… have my cake and eat it too. That’s not right.”
To my surprise, Ben laughs. “Who says, Lan?” He takes a step toward me, and my breath catches when he runs his fingers through my hair. “I like you.” I swallow hard. “And I like Parker.”
