I was almost certain this man did not feel pain.
My forehead lined. “Do… do you cry?”
“I make other people cry.”
A copy of Pride and Prejudice was tucked under his arm. No weapon. He had armed himself with only the words of Jane Austen. I had a third edition cover in my bedroom on my bookshelf.
“Ah, so you will bludgeon people with a book.” I nodded. “There’s a metaphor in there somewhere, but I’m far too shaken to think of one. Good luck to you and your killing spree.” I turned around.
“I’m coming for you.” A promise. “When we get into the Battle, you're coming with me. I’m taking you to my place and we are going to figure this shit out together.”
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I decline your proposal.”
His breath, warm like a lover’s kiss skittered across the side of my neck. His cheek hovered just next to mine. I kept my eyes forward, pretending I hadn’t noticed him so close.
“You dripping wet for me, Princess?”
My lower lip wanted to tremble, but I bit down on it. “No, I used a towel when I got out of the shower this morning. I am adequate at drying myself.”
“I’m going to turn you into fucking tsunami.”
The beginning of his promise was already whisking in my belly. “I doubt that. I haven’t seen any weather warnings for tsunamis.”
“There are going to be weather warnings.”
“There are no weather warnings.”
“Change the fucking channel.”
“I cannot, the remote doesn’t work.”
“Put in some new batteries.”
“I’m out of batteries.”
“Go to the store and get new ones.”
“They only have double A.”
“Go to another store.”
“It’s closed.”
“Then order online—” He sneezed and soon ended up in a fit of sneezes, one right after another, so loud and shuddering he started a chorus. “Where the fuck is the fucking cat!”
We moved along in the line until it was my turn to hop into the van and be carted off to a headstone. I punctured my heels in, refusing to move. Magnus had not yet gotten me out of this predicament, but I was not too concerned. I had a plan.
“Excuse me! Officer.” I waved for his attention.
The officer sighed. “What?”
“It is my duty to inform that unfortunately I am unable to attend this year’s Execution Battle.” I sucked in a sharp breath. “My sweet aunty Beatrice has died.”
His face fell. “Your aunty died?”
“Yes.” I choked on a sob. “Her funeral is tomorrow. I will have to attend.”
The guard rubbed the back of his head. “Shit.”
